The Next Five Years
by SpeakingMyMind
Summary: The Last Five Years We know what happened in the last five years, but what happens in the next five years? Please R&R! I heart Jason Robert Brown! Complete!
1. The Call

The phone is ringing. 'Why the hell is the phone ringing?' I thought as I got up from my desk to pick it up in the kitchen. "Hello?" I said annoyed that my writing had been interrupted.

"Jamie?" an all too familiar voice asked me. It had been three months. Why was she calling now? What did she have to say now that she didn't say before? "Jamie, are you there?" the voice said again, a little concerned.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. Uh, hi." I said.

"Oh, thank god. I thought you hung up on me." The voice said. "I hope you don't hate me that much."

"I don't hate you, Cathy," I said sighing.

"Right, you just Elise more, right?" Cathy said. I could almost hear her smirk.

"Did you call just to fight? Then I will hang up." I said, raising my voice like I used to all the time with her. Was it possible to talk to her and not fight?

"No, please don't hang up." Cathy begged me. "I'm sorry. God, are we always fighting? I called because I have good news."

"What is it?" I said flopping on the couch. I pulled a pizza box out from under me and tried to get comfortable on the lumpy couch. Man, I missed my old couch with Cathy.

"I got a job." Cathy said. "On Broadway. I'm on Broadway, Jamie!"

"That's great, Cathy. Thank you fro rubbing in my face your success. Good-bye now." I said as I walked back to the kitchen to hang up the phone.

"What? No, I didn't mean to rub anything in your face. You always said I would make it to Broadway, so when I found out I did, I thought I should tell you." Cathy said. "Besides, you're the big success, right? How much copies of your last novel did you sell?"

"Five." I said.

"Five? As in five thousand or something?" Cathy asked. "You would not just sell five singles copies."

"I did." I said. "The worst part is I know who bought all five of them."

"Your editor, your parents if they're talking to you, Elise..." Cathy trailed on.

"No. The person that bought all five of them is I." I said, admitting my pathetic act.

"Oh no. Oh, Jamie." Cathy said, taking pity on me. "What happened? Last time I saw you, your latest novel was going into its fifth printing or something."

"When was the last time you saw me?" I asked. We hadn't seen each other for months, unless the last time was...

"The signing of the divorce papers." Cathy said quietly. "I miss you, Jamie."

"I miss you, too Cathy." I said. I really meant it. We were together for five years. It was the hugest part of my life. I was married. I couldn't talk about my marriage with Elise. She wanted to pretend it didn't exist. I missed her. I missed seeing her everyday. I missed her laugh when I told a Jewish joke, about how she was my Shiksa Goddess. I missed married life. I didn't miss the constant fights or accusations, but I missed my ex-wife. I loved Cathy. Now I couldn't even talk about her in my new life.

"Cathy..." I said, trying to decide if what I was about to say was the right thing to do.

"Yes?" she asked, almost eagerly.

"Do you want to have lunch with me?" I asked. "No like a date or anything, but to catch up."

"Of course I would, Jamie." Cathy said. "But wouldn't Elise mind you having lunch with your ex-wife?"

"No, she's totally cool with it." I lied. I needed to see Cathy. I lied to about Elise when we were married to get away from Cathy, now I was lying to get back with her. Just for lunch, of course.

"Want to go to the café down the block from my apartment?" Cathy asked. How weird it was to hear her say 'my apartment' and not 'our apartment.' It was our apartment, but I moved in with Elise, and now it's her apartment. I mean, of course it is. But...it's our apartment....

"Yeah, the café down the block is good. Meet you there in half an hour?" I asked looking at my watch. It was 11:30. Lunch at noon with my ex-wife. This should be exciting.

"Great. Jamie, it's so good to talk to you without yelling. See in soon!" Cathy said with a dial tone following her. I hung up the phone. What had I gotten myself into? I wanted to see Cathy, but I can't not tell Elise I had lunch with her. I don't lie to Elise, especially not to go see Cathy. I never had, but it seemed like all of the sudden I had to.

"The woman is home!" Elise called as she walked in with groceries in her arms. "I've got some great cold cuts for lunch. We can make your favorite, corn beef sandwich!" Elise looked ecstatic over the fact that I could have corn beef. So I was supposed to tell her I couldn't eat the corn beef to go see my ex-wife with whom I cheated on with her? I think not. The only other thing I could tell her was work. Elise didn't understand how books got published, so she never asked when I told her I had work. It was the only excuse.

"I'm sorry, honey. I just got a call. My editor wants me to meet him. I could get a cheaper publisher, which would mean my profit could double and..." I said, rambling on and on.

"Ugh! I wish I could understand what you were saying. Oh well, we'll have corn beef another time." Elise said.

I kissed her on the lips quickly and said, "I promise we will. Bye, darling!" I grabbed my coat and walked out. As I got into the elevator, I heard Elise calling my name. I quickly pressed the hold doors button and walked out. "What is it?" I asked her.

"Someone is on the phone for you." Elise said in a cold voice.

I took the phone, praying it wasn't Cathy. "Hello, this is Jamie." I said as I always did when it was for work.

"I think Elise heard me, so don't say anything yet. The café is closed. If you want to come back to my apartment, say something about your editor. If you want to try to find somewhere else to go, say something about your publisher." Cathy said.

"Didn't my editor call you?" I asked.

"Okay, my place. I'll have to clean up a bit, though. I've got your favorite, corn beef." Cathy said. Great, so I was abandoning my girlfriend who wanted me to have corn beef with her to see my ex-wife to eat corn beef with her. This was great. I don't even like corn beef that much.

"Okay, so I'll see you at the office, not the restaurant. Bye." I said hanging up. "Thank you, honey. I would have been waiting at the restaurant for hours."

"It was a woman's voice." Elise said bluntly.

"Yes, it was." I said. "I've got to run, I'll eat that corn beef later, okay?" I was trying to walk away, but her eyes kept me there.

"It sounded like Cathy's voice." Elise said, saying her name for the first time since the divorce.

"Cathy? I haven't talked to her in ages. No, it was the secretary of the new publisher." I said.

"And you're meeting the publisher's secretary at the office for lunch?" Elise said, not believing a word I said.

"Well, first it was the secretary, then I got put through to the publisher, Mr. Michaels. I've really got to go now. Bye, sweetheart!" I said, walking into the elevator that opened up. That was close one. I felt as if I was trying to hide Elise from Cathy again. Except I wasn't cheating on Elise with Cathy. That would just be too bizarre. I walked out my apartment and started walking to my-uh, I mean Cathy's apartment. It was only 11:35, and it was already an exciting day that I was sure would only get more exciting.


	2. It's Not a Date, Is It?

I was straightening up as much as I could in thirty minutes. I always told Jamie to clean up, so now the apartment had to be clean. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I looked at my watch. 11:55. I walked to the door straighten my skirt and opened it up. God, Jamie looked as great as usually. "Hi!" I said and gave him a hug. Was that okay? Were you allowed to hug your ex-husband?

"Hey there," Jamie said. There was a twinkle in his eyes that I had missed. The last time I saw that twinkle was in Ohio. I was on a national tour and Jamie came to visit me. I was so excited to see him, and there was the twinkle. Then he told me he had to leave early for a 'meeting' that obviously meant that he had to go see Elise. I got upset and yelled at him. The twinkle disappeared almost immediately. It was only a mere month or so later that we were divorced and he had moved out.

"So, what do you want for lunch?" I asked. "I have corn beef." I knew he liked corn beef. Whenever I got it for him when we were married he hugged me and swung me around. I knew he wouldn't do that now, and that sort of upset me.

"It feels like that's all I eat now. Elise won't get anything else. Do you have pastrami turkey?" Jamie asked. "It's your favorite, right?"

"Of course I do," I said, "How did you remember it was my favorite?" He never remembered things like this when we were married. Correction: He never remembered things like this in the last year of our marriage.

"Well, do you remember that big 'fight' we had over which was a better sandwich?" Jamie asked.

"The Cold Cut War, how could I forget?" I said laughing. "You do know that pastrami turkey, pastrami, salami with mustard on whole wheat bread is the best, right?"

"Nice try, but its corn beef on rye with mustard." Jamie said. "And if that wasn't the only thing I've eaten for the past two weeks, I'd have it now." I laughed and took out my cold cuts. We made our sandwiches with only a little bit of conversation between.

"So, tell me about this job you got." Jamie said as we sat down at the table. We sat in our usually seats as if nothing was wrong. As if at any moment someone would call here for Jamie. Or he would go on his long daze of brainstorming for his writing. Back then I was a part of that; I was a part of his life. Now I barely knew what was going on. Then again, he never knew what was going on, even when we were married.

"Well, there's this new show opening called _Hot Cocoa _and I'm just in the ensemble, but I'm the understudy for the lead! I could play a lead on Broadway!" I said. After all, this was big news.

"Cathy, that's great! I'm so happy for you," Jamie said, taking my hand. Whoa, excuse me? What was this? I don't want this...do I? I won't deny it; I missed Jamie terribly in the beginning. But I was mostly over that. Now I just miss the idea of being married, having a secure relationship, coming home and knowing someone else would be there. That wasn't even all in our relationship all the time. Then why did I feel giddy at the touch of his hand?

"I know, it's great. I'm so excited. Rehearsals start on Monday." I said.

"In two days? Wow, when did you find out?" Jamie asked. "I mean, what if you had other plans? You would have to change them in two days?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I haven't had a job this good in a while. The only other plans I had was another audition, but I can cancel that, right?" I said. "Besides, I'm going on Broadway. There are plenty of people who would give away both their kidneys for this job. I'm extremely grateful."

"With an attitude like that, you'll get walked all over. You'll be a go-fer, not a cast member." Jamie said.

"Except I am a cast member. I won't be a go-fer, that's what they have assistant stage managers for." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"I only want what's best for you." Jamie said.

"What? You want what's best for me? Since when, Jamie, since when?" I asked. That just infuriated me. If he wanted what was best for me, he wouldn't have cheated on me. That would have been the best thing for me.

"I always have! That's why we got a divorce. We couldn't live together anymore, we weren't happy. The best thing for you, for us was to get a divorce." Jamie said. "Why are you surprised that I still care for you?"

"You care for me? If you cared for me at all you would have never had an affair!" I said. "That would have been what was best for me, Jamie, not a divorce."

"Under the circumstances, a divorce was the best thing, Cathy." Jamie said. "I tried to save our relationship, I really did. But I couldn't. You don't know how hard I worked to try and make it work. I loved you, how could you think I wanted to hurt you?"

"If you loved me, why did you feel the need to go to another woman for sex?" I asked. I never said it out loud before, but I was always dying to know. I always bit my tongue, not asking. I couldn't ask. I knew he would just storm out and leave me. Well, he's already left me, so he can storm out all he wants.

In fact, he almost just stormed out. He walked to the door, picked up his jacket, and then turned around to face me. "I didn't want to have to go to another woman. I tried to stay away from her because I loved you. I tried to resist the temptation, but I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you and for our relationship." Jamie said quietly and left. I stared at the door for a while. What was that? He wasn't strong enough? He wanted to save our relationship? He loved me? I didn't want to believe it. It sounded like a lot of bull strung together to form an excuse, but deep down in my gut I had a feeling it was true. I sat down on my couch. I looked at the half-eaten sandwiches on the table. I just started to cry. It was as if we got a divorce all over again. I couldn't stop crying over my ex-husband. I was over him and all these problems, yet still the tears flowed. I hated how much this was bothering me.

Why did I still love him?

_(Thanks for your reviews! Cathy loves Jamie; does Jamie love Cathy? Please review so I know someone other than myself is reading this!)_


	3. Cathy, uh, I mean Elise

I walked down the street in the City. I looked at all the people. There were all so different. I could almost hear the novel starting in my head. _If you look down the street in New York City, you see thousands of different people and you don't know any of them. They move fast, the whole world moves fast. Everyone moves fast, except for her. She took her time walking down the street. She didn't even notice when I went by, as if I were just another stranger. Yet I was not just another stranger, I was her ex-husband._

I couldn't write that, it was too personal. It was good, I knew it was, but it was too personal. Besides, Cathy would hate me. After I told her how few books I sold to myself, she would buy the next one. Then, she would hate me. Not that it would matter, she hated me anyway. "If you loved me, why did you feel the need to go to another woman for sex?"she had said. Man, that one hurt. I knew it was wrong when I was doing it, but it felt so right. Elise knew me better than Cathy ever could. She understood that I needed quiet for my writing. I loved that, I just didn't love Elise. I don't love Elise. The novel continued. _I knew why she ignored me. It wasn't because I was her ex-husband. It was because I cheated on her. Not just once, but many times. That was why our relationship fell apart. It fell apart because I wasn't trying. I didn't think I needed to; I had a back up for after the divorce. I was married to Fiona, but I had Kelsey_

I can't write that. I would fall apart. Elise would fall apart. I knew where it was going. I would get the main character back together with his ex-wife. Elise would leave me. I walked back into my apartment building. Then Cathy would think I still loved her. I walked into the elevator. I don't love Cathy. I may not love Elise, but that doesn't mean I love Cathy. I mean, I know I don't love Cathy. If I loved her I wouldn't have made her upset today. I couldn't help but writing in my head. _Kelsey was wonderful. She gave me everything Fiona tried to give, but couldn't. I even promised her that I would marry her one-day. It wasn't a proposal, since I was still married. We haven't spoken about it since, but it's still there. I know she tried to remind me of it, but I ignore her subtle pleas. At least, I would now. After seeing her._

I was just getting closer to the secret, and playful, make-up of my character and Fiona. Or was I just getting closer to the secret make-up of Cathy and me?

"I'm home, Elise!" I called as I walked into our apartment. It was clean. Our apartment was clean. Our apartment was never clean. Something had to be up.

"Hi, honey," Elise said giving me a quick peck of a kiss on the cheek.

"Our apartment is clean." I said bluntly. There was no way to be subtle about this. "Why is our apartment clean? Our apartment is never clean."

"Well, while you were out, I was bored. So, I thought, 'Wouldn't it be nice if Jamie came home to a clean home?' And the rest is history, as they say." Elise said. "I even organized your desk."

"What?!" I shouted. I didn't mean to blow up like I did. I was just so mad about what Cathy said, my response, my thoughts on the way home. It was just the last straw. "How many times have I told you not to touch my desk? I have a system. It may not be the cleanest and most organized thing, but it's mine! Now I have to learn a whole new system."

"Well, I'm sorry. I thought I was doing something nice for you." Elise said, taken back and not at all sorry. "Besides, can't you just put it back?"

"I don't remember where everything was! I didn't think I would have to, since it was always there!" I shouted.

"Well if you don't remember where everything was, it wasn't very important to you, was it?" Elise said. "And if you don't remember, it will be that much easier to learn a new, organized system!"

"You don't remember the exact order of your closet, do you? But clothes are very important to you and I don't go rumbling around in there!" I said. "Clothes to you is writing to me. It's my life. I have a system!"

"Well then maybe you and your system can live somewhere else!" Elise said, throwing the neatly stacked papers on the desk all over the floor.

"Was that my latest novel? There were in order, Elise!" I shouted, picking up the papers. She kicked the around and stepped on them. "Will you stop acting lime a two-year old and help me?"

"I'll help you move out!" Elise said. "Since clothes aren't as important to you as they are to me, I'll just throw them out the window!"

"Will you just be quiet and listen to me, Cathy?" I shouted. Suddenly the room was very quiet. I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

"Leave. Take your precious laptop and system and leave!" Elise said. "I never want to see you again!" I silently took my laptop, my jacket and walked to the door.

"I'll come for all my other possessions later in the week. Please do not destroy them or sell them before I come." I said and walked out. I took out my cell phone and called where I hoped I would be staying for a while. The phone rang once, twice.

"Hello?" Cathy said. It sounded as if she had just been crying.

"I am so sorry." I said. "For everything."

"I forgive you." Cathy said. "Do you want to come and finish lunch?" Did I? I told her I'd be there in fifteen minutes. I ran over there. I buzzed her room in the lobby.

"Come on, up," Cathy's voice said in a fuzzy intercom way. I ran up to her apartment. I needed to talk to her as soon as possible.

"Hey." She said as she opened the door. She looked as amazing as she did earlier. "Why do you have your laptop?"

"I sort of need a place to stay." I said smiling. "Can I stay here for a few days while I find a new apartment?"

"You can, Elise can't." Cathy said coldly.

"I don't think that will be a problem." I said.

"She kicked you out?" Cathy said, softening her face.

"We got into a big fight. I, uh, accidentally called her by your name." I said. "No offense or anything, I mean..."

"No, I understand." Cathy said, and she really did. I could tell she wasn't mad. "You can stay here, but I'm afraid you'll have to sleep on the couch."

"You sure bout that?" I asked in mock-suggestion. Cathy laughed.

"I'm positive." Cathy said. "And I have a feeling I won't change my mind any time soon."

"Oh, that one hurt." I said. See? Cathy and I could just talk. We just had to talk lightly. No talk of Elise, the divorce or her new job.

"So, are you going to sleep in those clothes or are you going back to get something later?" Cathy asked.

"I'm going back tomorrow. Maybe by then She'll let me live there again." I said as I sat on the couch. "I just don't know if I want to live there anymore."

"What's wrong?" Cathy asked as she sat next to me.

"Oh no. If we talk about Elise than eventually we'll be yelling, I'll get kicked out again. I need somewhere to spend the night at least." I said.

"Okay, how about you just talk to get it out of your system and I won't say anything unless you want me to." Cathy said. "You can't keep all those emotions locked up in there." She pointed to my chest, meaning my heart. The touch of her hand spread warmth all over my body.

"Are you sure? You really don't have to do this." I said. I knew somehow it would get her upset.

"Positive. Jamie, just talk." Cathy said. I felt my whole body unwind

"It's just that I think that Elise doesn't feel I'm good enough for her. I was before because I was this big writer. Now I'm a big flop. I feel like I have to be the perfect boyfriend to keep her. I mean, I know she'll cheat on me without a second thought. She had an affair with me, how do I know now she's isn't cheating on me?" I said. I had never said that out loud before. Now I was saying it to Cathy?

"Was that what the fight was about?" Cathy asked quietly.

"No. While I was out, here, actually, she cleaned the apartment. That was great, but she rearranged my desk." I said.

"But you have a system! You never let me even touch your desk." Cathy said. "I'm sorry, I know I said I wouldn't talk, but..."

"No, that was my exact response! I told her not to go near it. Now she thinks she can rearrange it? She said she was 'cleaning it up, making it organized.' I don't care what you call it, I didn't like it." I said, really getting it out of my system. "So she said just put it back. I don't remember where everything was exactly. So her response was that 'it couldn't have been very important if I didn't remember where anything was.' I didn't remember exactly because I didn't have to remember. It was all there! So when I told her clothes to her was like writing for me, she went off the handle. She threw my latest novel on the floor and kicked it around. When I asked for her help, she said she'd help me move out. She told me since my clothes weren't important to me, she'll just throw them out the window. So I said, 'Will you just be quiet and listen to me, Cathy?' She got really quiet. Then, she threw me out. Not the window though, thankfully."

Cathy smiled at that last part. "Wow, it seems like quite a fight." Cathy said. "Anything else you want to get off your chest?" _'Yes, I want us to get back together. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I was wrong, you were right. Take me back. I still love you.' _Yeah right, like I could say anything from there.

"No, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it, Cathy." I said.

"No problem. I'm thirsty, do want something to drink?" Cathy said smiling. I wasn't quite sure if she was smiling because she was truly happy or she was trying to make me feel better. It didn't matter; I needed her smile right now.

"Hey, Cathy, c'mere," I said, pulling her into a big bear hug. I kissed her and pulled out of the hug.

"What was that for?" Cathy asked.

"Everything." I said.

(Thanks for the reviews from PrimRose, BumbleBee823, and J, whoever u are. Something is heating up between Cathy and Jamie...or is it? Please Review!)


	4. Unwanted Attention

"So, I'm going out for new character shoes. That way I can get something done and you can write, okay?" I said to Jamie. He was so cute. He was sitting on the couch with a puzzled look on his face as he typed into his computer. He would type something, and then delete it. Then he would type again and delete again. It was hysterical to me, but it worried him. I knew he worked well in quiet, so I figured to leave him alone for an hour or so.

"That would be marvelous. Thank you, Cathy," Jamie said. "Marvelous.... marvelous..." Soon he was typing again. It was like I wasn't there. I didn't mind, I just left. I walked to Capezio first. They were really expensive, but I like to see if I could find something I liked there, and then find a match at a cheaper store. Besides, sometimes on sale I could get something there.

I walked in and smiled A big red sign was hanging from the ceiling. _Sale, Sale, Sale! Everything in the store of up to 50 off! Shoes up to 60 off! Sale, Sale, Sale!_ This was my lucky day. I knew the shoes that were 60 off would end up still being a much more than I could afford, but some of the other stuff I could still get. I walked over the shoe section. "Excuse me," I asked someone who worked there. "I only see black character shoes. Do you have any beige ones?"

"Sure we do. Walk this way," The worker said smiling. "They are up to 30 off with the sale. Anything look good?" I walked over to the shoes. I picked some up and put them down again. Then I found the one I knew I would get. It was beige with a beige buckle. It was your classic character shoe; only it was padded all around on the inside, even on the bottom of the strap. Having stood in characters for hours, the padding looked perfect.

"Do you have these in a size 6 ½?" I asked, showing the woman the shoe.

"Ah, the comfort shoe. Don't you just love it?" The woman said. "We were out yesterday, but we just got a new shipment, so let me check, okay?" I waited a while, looking at other shoes. None of them matched up to the comfort shoe. "Here's one," the woman said as she came back. She handed me the box.

"Heather! You have a call!" a woman at the desk called. Heather, the woman helping me, smiled and went to take the call.

I tried on the shoes. Oh, they were perfect. They had just enough padding everywhere, but not too much. It was soft and smooth, but it gave just the support I needed. I stood up in them and walked around a little. I had to get these shoes. They were heaven. I heard shrieks. "I got it! I got the job! I got it! I got it!" Heather was screaming.

"Wonderful," The woman behind the desk said. "Get back to work!"

"Sorry about that." Heather said when she returned. "It's just that I auditioned for this new show, _Hot Cocoa _and I got in. I'm only ensemble, but I'm an understudy for one of the leads!"

"This is crazy!" I said. "I'm in the ensemble of _Hot Cocoa_ and I'm an understudy for a lead!"

"No way!" Heather said. "This is awesome. Is that why you're getting new character shoes?"

"Yeah, my old ones are pretty torn up. I'm Cathy, by the way." I said, extending my hand.

"I'm Heather, as I'm sure you know." She said smiling. "So, are you taking the shoes?"

"As long as they're not too much." I said.

"With the sale they are," Heather said, looking for a price on the box. "Sixty dollars plus tax."

"Oh, that's a bit much for me." I said. "Too bad, these shoes are perfect."

"Y'know what? I was going to get a pair for myself with this sale and my worker's discount. Hoe about I get two and you pay me?" Heather said.

"How much is it with your worker's discount?" I asked.

"Well, it's eighty dollars originally, so 80 minus 40 of 80 is..." Heather said, calculating in her head. "Forty-eight dollars plus tax."

"That I can do." I said. "Ring it up!"

"I'm back!" I said as I walked in. I looked around, but Jamie was nowhere to be seen. "Jamie? Jamie!" No response. His laptop was still there. Hmmm...I wonder what his next novel would be. He kept typing and deleting before...a quick peek couldn't hurt, could it?

_If you look down the street in New York City, you see thousands of different people and you don't know any of them. They move fast, the whole world moves fast. Everyone moves fast, except for her. She took her time walking down the street. She didn't even notice when I went by, as if I were just another stranger. Yet I was not just another stranger, I was her ex-husband._

He was not writing that! I mean, it was obviously about me! I don't mean to sound conceited, but how many ex-wives does he have? I should stop reading now. I really should...

_I knew why she ignored me. It wasn't because I was her ex-husband. It was because I cheated on her. Not just once, but many times. That was why our relationship fell apart. It fell apart because I wasn't trying. I didn't think I needed to; I had a back up for after the divorce. I was married to Fiona, but I had Kelsey._

Okay, tell me this wasn't what I thought it was. It couldn't be. How could he write about something so personal, so confidential? I don't mean that nobody knows, but nobody needs to know. I stop reading. I had to. There was a knock at the door. I went to open it and Jamie was on the other side with a big garbage bag. "Trash day?" I asked him as I let him in.

"This is what Elise was giving the trash man." Jamie said as he opened up the bag. "All my clothes! All my possessions! CDs, books, videos anything that was worth anything! Can you believe her?"

"So, I guess you guys are over then." I said quietly.

"Yeah, I guess so." Jamie said, lugging his stuff into the apartment.

"So, seen any good apartments yet?" I asked, trying desperately to keep the conversation off what I had read.

"I saw some things in the newspaper. I'm going to check them out tomorrow." Jamie said, sitting in front of his laptop. "You didn't, uh, read this, did you?"

"No, don't you, like, hate it when anyone reads your story before it's done?" I said, acting with all my might.

"It's a novel, not a story and yes. Thank you for respecting my privacy." Jamie said. Gee, guilt me a bit more there, will you?

"So, guess who I met at Capezio?" I asked, very excited about my new friend.

"Stephen Sondheim?" Jamie joked, knowing that he was my absolute favorite person in all of musical theatre.

"I wish," I said. "No, I met Heather, this girl who's in Hot Cocoa with me! She's in the ensemble as well, but she's the understudy for the other lead. So if both leads are sick or something, we'll be playing opposite each other! Isn't this crazy?"

"So you went for character shoes and came out with a new friend." Jamie said. "Isn't there a Disney Channel movie like this or something?" He smiled his gorgeous smile and laughed.

"Stop it! I met a new friend, and she gave me a discount on the most wonderful pair of character shoes ever!" I said, taking out my new shoes.

"She gave you a discount simply because you happened to be in the same show as you?" Jamie asked in disbelief.

"Well, they were already on sale 30, but she let me a pair with her worker's 10 discount. Of course, she bought a pair for herself, too." I said sitting down next to him.

"Of course." Jamie said. We smiled and suddenly it was very quiet. Jamie moved closer to me, and I didn't move away. I moved closer and our faces were barely an inch apart. Then Jamie kissed me with his tender touch. He pulled away suddenly and looked at the floor ashamed. "Sorry, I'm such a jerk sometimes," he said.

"No, it's okay," I heard myself saying. "See, I'm smiling." He looked at me and smiled. Well, we had already kissed, so why not do it again? And again? And again? Finally, I did have to stop.

"What is it?" Jamie asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes something's wrong. This. I mean, Jamie it's us. We can't do this." I said, trying to put logic into this.

"You said it was okay before." He said confused. "Cathy..."

"I know I said it was okay before, but I was wrong. This is wrong." I said, repeating myself. "Jamie, we got divorced. You cheated on me. For the last year of our relationship we never talked to each other, we yelled. Are we supposed to forget all that? Are we going to start all over and have it all happen again?"

"It wouldn't happen all over again," Jamie said.

"So you do want to try it again." I said. "No, Jamie. It's...we can't." I wasn't making any sense. I wanted to go back to Jamie. I did desperately, but I didn't want that feeling of loneliness in a relationship again.

"You're not making sense," Jamie said. "You want this, I want this. Why can't we try again?"

"I can't, Jamie, I just can't." I said and walked out of the apartment. I walked down the street, and then I would walk back up again. I didn't know where I was going. I went into a diner and ordered a cup of coffee that I didn't drink. I walked up and down the streets again. Finally, I knew where I had to go. I walked and walked. On and on I went. When I finally got to my destination, I was scared. I knew I had to do this, but it was horrifying. I walked into the building and went up to the sixth floor. I went to the door that said 6C. I took a deep breath and knocked three times.

"Who is it?" a voice from inside asked.

"It's Cathy," I said. "Please let me in, Elise."

_(Thanks so much for your reviews! They really help me going on. Why is Cathy going to talk to Elise? Please Review!!!)_


	5. Getting Things Right

Cathy stormed out. Great, so she didn't want to be with me. The kissing was great; it was just like old times. Then the fighting, well, that was like old times too. God, why couldn't I get anything right? First I mess up Cathy, then Elise and now Cathy again. I can't get anything straight. I can't focus.

_Seeing her made the difference. She brightened my day, even though all she did was walk by. I needed her presence just to think clearly. Yet in her presence, I made the most mistakes of my life. No, that's not true. In Kelsey's presence, I lied, cheated, and hurt so many people. I told her I wasn't married, though Kelsey did find out. That didn't stop her. All I had to do was merely cheat on my wife, and then she knew her place would be set. And it was. She secured her place and ruined mine._

I kept typing and writing what I knew was good, but also very personal, very confidential. It wasn't that nobody knew, it was just that nobody needed to know. I was still typing away when Cathy walked back in. She looked as if she had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose was as well. She was still sniffling as she walked in and hung up her coat. "Cathy, what's wrong?" I asked, wanting to hold her and make her feel better. I wanted all the bad things in her life to go away. But if all the bad things in her life went away...so would I.

"You bastard." Cathy said. She walked into her room and slammed the door. What could I do? I knocked on the door, I begged her to let me come in and know what was the matter. She just kept screaming 'You bastard!' at me. I didn't know what I did, but obviously I hurt her somehow. How could I have hurt her? I didn't even know. I decided on taking a walk, trying to clear my head.

I walked down the street, and then I would walk back up again. I didn't know where I was going. I went into a diner and ordered a cup of coffee that I didn't drink. I walked up and down the streets again. Finally, I knew where I had to go. I had to go back to my temporary home. Running away from this problem would solve nothing. I went back home. I took a deep breath and knocked three times on Cathy's bedroom door.

"Go away," Cathy said. It sounded as if she had been crying. I didn't want her to cry. I used to lie and that would make her cry. Now I had to do it to make her stop.

"I found an apartment. I'm going now. I'm getting out of your way," I said, not wanting to leave. I never wanted to leave again. I would just have to go back and live with Elise. How else could I make Cathy happy? I hated to do it, but I had to. I packed up what little things I had and walked out of the apartment. I was walking on the sidewalk when I heard someone calling my name.

"Jamie!" Cathy was calling, leaning out of a window. "Don't go." I smiled and went back up to the apartment. I knocked on the door and there was Cathy. "I don't want you to go, Jamie," she said and gave me a great big hug. I would have prefers a kiss, but I was just glad to be back.

"I have to tell you something." I said. "I didn't find an apartment."

"Then why did you say you did? Do you want to leave?" Cathy asked in confusion. She crinkled her forehead and squinted her eyes, looking at me like I was crazy. I loved that look.

"I thought you wanted me to leave." I said. "You were crying. I didn't want you to cry, just because of me. I want you to be happy. If me being here made you cry, then me not being here would make you happy. So, I lied and said I found an apartment."

"Where would you have stayed, though? I mean, it's getting colder out now." Cathy said.

"I figured I would stay with Elise again." I said.

"You should probably call Elise." Cathy said quietly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just- just call her, okay?" Cathy said.

"Is there something you know that I don't about Elise? Is she okay?" I asked. Even though I didn't love Elise, spending 3 months (not counting the affair) with a person made you care about them.

"I can't tell you, just call her, okay, Jamie?" Cathy said a little more forcefully now. "If it were me, I would want a call." What could I do? I called.

"Hello?" Elise said.

"Hey, it's uh, it's me." I said.

"Oh...did-did she tell you to call?" Elise asked. 'She' was obviously Cathy.

"Well, yes. Yes she did." I said. I wasn't sure if it was the right or wrong thing to say, but I didn't really care anymore.

"You have to know something..." Elise said carefully, as of she needed to think of how to say each exact word.

"What is it, Elise?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I think..." Elise said, never really finishing any of her sentences.

"What's wrong?" I asked. What could be so horrible that she couldn't tell me?

"I suspected it last week, but now.... now I know." Elise said.

"What happened last week?" I asked, getting frustrated. I took a deep breath and tried to get calm.

"I missed it." Elise said.

"Missed what?" I asked. Oh no. Not this.

"My period." Elise said. "I missed it last week."

"So...what does this mean?" I asked, hoping it was not what I thought it was.

"I'm pregnant, Jamie." Elise said. "I took the test, it came out positive."

"I'm the father?" I asked.

"Jesus Christ, Jamie, yes you're the father." Elise said. "How rude can you get?"

"Try throwing the clothes of the person you supposedly love out the window," I muttered.

"Try having lunch with your ex-wife and not telling your pregnant girlfriend!" Elise said.

"I didn't know you were pregnant!" I said in my defense.

"Like that makes a difference." Elise said.

"Can we please not fight?" I asked.

"Can we please not talk?" Elise said mocking me, and then she hung up. She hung up on me!

"That didn't go well." Cathy said.

"No, really?" I snapped at Cathy. Cathy just looked at me for a moment, shook her head and walked away.

Why can't I get anything right?


	6. Who's the Mother?

"I'm sorry, Cathy. I'm just upset about...about this whole thing." Jamie said through my door. "I wasn't expecting this, Cathy. Please don't be mad at me." I wasn't mad at Jamie. I was mad at Elise. Why did she have to tell me? I did not need this now. It seems like forever ago that we talked, but it was only few hours earlier.

"Why are you here?" Elise asked once she had let me in.

"We have to talk about Jamie." I had said. This was the first time we were in the room alone together, let alone actually talk.

"Look, Katie, I don't want to talk about Jamie." Elise said, knowing perfectly that my name was Cathy.

"It's Cathy, and it doesn't matter whether you want to or not, we are going to." I said sitting on the couch. Oh, it was really lumpy, not at all how Jamie likes it.

"And you wonder what you might have done to make him divorce you?" Elise said rolling her eyes.

"I think it's whom he might have done." I said coolly. Elise just glared at me.

"Look, we can't talk about Jamie because you're the ex-wife and I'm the girlfriend." Elise said.

"Are you?" I asked. "I thought you two broke up."

"Well, it's...complicated." Elise said sitting down next to me. "Eventually, I think we will have to get back together."

"Why?" I asked. I knew eventually Jamie and I should get back together, why did she have to become involved?

"Because I'm the mother?" she said. Oh god, are you kidding me? I wanted to run out of there as fast as I could. But no, I came to talk, so now I would talk.

"How long have you known?" I asked. "Does Jamie know?"

"Jamie doesn't know." Elise said. "Jamie doesn't deserve to know." Elise was crying angry tears now and she quickly wiped them away. She didn't want to look vulnerable in front of me.

"He's the father, he should know." I said. "If I were pregnant, I would want my child to know his or her father. Elise, he has to know."

"Could you tell him?" Elise asked me. Yeah, like I should tell my ex-husband (whom I love) that his girlfriend who he cheated on me with is pregnant with his child. Man, I have a messed up life.

"Elise, I can't tell him. It's not my child." I said.

"It could be. Will you adopt it?" Elise asked me. Whoa, what? I mean, I always wanted a child, but not like this.

"You want me to adopt your child?" I asked her in disbelief.

"I don't know anything about babies or parenting. But you are so ready for it. You would be the best thing for it." Elise said.

"You want your child to be raised with your boyfriend's ex-wife?" I asked. I wanted to add_, ' with your boyfriend.' _But I didn't.

"Please?" Elise asked.

"I'll think about it." I said. "I have to go. Thank you for this, uh, talk." I got up and left. Now I'm stuck in my room. I couldn't run away from Jamie. I had to talk to him. Would he raise Elise's child with me? Would I raise Elise's child?

"Jamie?" I said quietly as I walked out of my room. Jamie was packing up his things. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Cathy. I have to go back and live with Elise and...and my child." Jamie said. "I can't walk away from this."

"I know." I said, not even bothering to bring up the idea of adoption. Once Jamie returned Elise's confidence would return and she would raise her child with Jamie. Jamie walked over to me and kissed my lightly on the lips.

"Good-bye, Cathy." Jamie said and walked out of my apartment.

"Good-bye, Jamie," I whispered long after he had left.

(Thanks for your review! Sorry that it's so short. I know most of you probably hate me right now, but just wait, okay? What will happen in one year? How will their lives be different? Please Review!)


	7. Richard, The Boyfriend

"Aw, come on, stop it you two!" Heather said, throwing her pillow at my wonderful boyfriend, Richard and I, who were kissing on the couch.

"Don't mind us, Heather. Unless, of course, you want to join in," Richard said. I laughed and hit him. "What?" he asked and leaned in for another kiss.

"Ugh! I'm leaving," Heather said getting up from her seat on the floor.

"No, don't go Heather," I said getting up. Richard gave me his abandoned look, but I missed it.

"It's okay, I have an audition soon anyway," Heather said. "The producers who did _Hot Cocoa_ want me to audition for a play by the same author. _A Day In the Life Of…_ is the title. It sounds good,"

"They called you?" I asked.

"Well, their secretaries did, yes. When is your audition for it?" Heather asked me as she put on her coat.

"I didn't get a call," I said feeling left out of my friend's life.

"You didn't? Well grab your coat," Heather said.

"Why?" I asked puzzled as she hand me my coat.

"Well, obviously you're coming to audition with me," Heather said like a good friend should.

"But I didn't get called, I haven't arranged an audition…" I said, being the worrywart I was. Or, at least the one Heather always accused me of being.

"I don't care, you worrywart! You're coming! Besides, what if it's open call?" Heather reasoned. Just then the phone rang. "See? That's them calling you now." I laughed and I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I asked. There was a lot of noise in the back round. There was a crying yelling and I think someone was throwing things.

"I need you help, Cathy," Jamie said. "Elise has gone crazy. She's yelling at Lisa because she throws things. She's only a year old! Lisa's crying so Elise cries thinking she's a bad mother and I don't know what to do!"

"Jamie?" I asked. This was a surprise. Last time I saw him I loved him with all my heart and I thought we were getting back together. Then Elise was pregnant and he left. I went into rehearsal for _Hot Cocoa_ and met Heather's friend Richard. Be fore you could say Sondheim, Richard and I were going out. Then I hurt my ankle and had to get put out of the show. Heather and Richard soon had to leave as well, for reasons I was not told. I was over Jamie, and now he calls. Wonderful.

"Please, Cathy I need your help," Jamie said. He sounded desperate. I looked over at Richard. He looked confused, no; he looked more worried than confused.

"Are you coming, Cathy?" Heather yelled.

"Are you going somewhere?" Jamie asked me. Well, obviously, if someone said , 'Are you coming?' you're going somewhere! No, no actually I wouldn't go. Not when Jamie needed me. He finally needs me.

"No, I'm not going," I said, motioning with my hand that Heather should go without me.

"But it's your audition, honey," Richard said as he walked up to me and put his arms around me.

"Who's that?" Jamie asked. He sounded concerned, like someone had taken his place in my life.

"It's just Richard. How can I help you with this?" I asked.

"Can I come over?" Jamie asked. I wasn't sure if he wanted to talk or find out whom Richard was. Either way, it wasn't good.

"Uh, Jamie…" I said, trying to pick the right excuse.

"Great, I'll be right there!" Jamie said and hung up. I hung up the phone.

"Who's Jamie?" Richard asked. Richard knew about my marriage, but he didn't know Jamie was my ex-husband.

"Jamie is my ex…" I said.

"Boyfriend?" Richard asked. I was sure he already had figured out Jamie wasn't just my ex-boyfriend.

"My ex-husband," I said. "He needs a little help. I figured I could help him."

"I see," Richard said. "So, he's coming over now?"

"Yes," I said. "Perhaps you should go."

"Why? I would very much like to see this Jamie," Richard said sitting down.

"Richard, please. I don't want to make this into a big deal." I said.

"It's your ex-husband, it is a big deal, " he said.

"It really isn't. I'm over him. I'm with you now." I said hugging him. "Please, I don't want this to turn into anything."

"I'll go," Richard said. "If you tell me what happened between you two."

So I told him. I told him about him meeting my parents, the wedding, the married life, the affair and the divorce. "Will you please go?" I said.

"Yeah, I'll go." Richard said. He got his coat and I walked him to the door. He was standing in the doorway and we kissed. "Are you sure that's it between you and Jamie?"

I thought about a year ago, right before _Hot Cocoa_ and how we almost got back together. Richard didn't need to know that. "Nothing else," I said as I kissed him again.

"Ahem," Jamie said and Richard and I pulled apart. "Hi, I'm Jamie, the ex-husband." He extended his hand. By saying 'ex-husband' he was trying to get him out.

"I'm Richard, the boyfriend," Richard said accepting Jamie's hand. Jamie glared at Richard and came in.

"Bye, Richard," I said after I kissed him again. I closed the door and turned to Jamie. "Daddy, you scared my boyfriend away. You're ruining my life!"

"It's my job," Jamie said smiling. If he only knew how true that was.

"So what do you need to talk about?" I asked him.

"Elise and I …can't do this. We don't love each other; we can barely tolerate each other. She says we have to stay together for Lisa. I think it would be better for Lisa to not see us fighting. It scares me how much Elise has changed and how I have to tiptoe around the house only get yelled at twice a day. If I don't make the right coffee, we have a fight. If I don't mash up Lisa's food enough, we fight. If she's feeling insecure, we fight. If Lisa is crying, we fight." Jamie said to me. "We just can't stop fighting, I don't know what to do."

"I don't see how I can help." I said.

"What did we always fight about? How can I prevent Elise fighting about the same things with me?" Jamie asked me.

"We fought about Elise, mostly. I'll assume you've already fought about that." I said dryly. "But our fights became too much, we separated. That's what you and Elise should do."

"She won't let me leave! I can't even look at the paper without her thinking that I'm looking for an apartment." Jamie said. "Now she wants to get married. Can you believe it? With all the fighting we do, she wants to get married!"

"I can't say that I never thought about you and Elise getting married." I said.

"Before or after we had Lisa?" Jamie asked.

"Both. You had the baby, you were a writer, and she was a housewife. It was perfect." I said. "Apparently not, though."

"I'm not ready to be a father, Cathy. I can barely take care of myself. Now I have to worry about three people!" Jamie said. "I can't do this."

"Well, not with that attitude," I said. "Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day. You can do it, I know you can."

"Got anymore clichés you want to tell me?" Jamie asked.

"Just one." I said. "No matter what, Elise will always love the father of her child. Lisa will always love her father. Do you love her father?"

"Do you?" Jamie asked, pointing my question back at myself.

"I did love you once. But, Jamie, we both moved on. You have a family and I have Richard," I said.

"I never moved on." Jamie said quietly. "I always thought one day I would be back here."

"Then why did you leave?" I asked.

"I thought it was the right thing to do! I grew up with basically no father. I didn't want the same for my child. I'm only making her life worse by being there." He said.

"I'm sure that's not true." I said.

"It was for us. Look at you. You've been on Broadway, you have boyfriend, and you have a life! I've been stuck in the same pigsty for three days," Jamie said. "What will become of my life?"

"I think you last book did well, didn't it?" I asked angrily. He actually published the book about Kelsey and Fiona. It sold millions and Jamie was back on top. It annoyed me so much. Why did this book sell so much? So I bought a copy. He stole so much from reality; it was like I was going through it all again. But that was practically six months ago. What has he been doing?

"I think it was the last book that will ever do well," Jamie said. "I can't think of anything. I'll write two chapters and give up. It's suppose to be a comedy, but it ends up very dark."

"Then write something dark, Jamie," I said. "What kind of darkness do you write about? It can't be horrible."

"I write about the separation of true love," Jamie said looking at me as if he saw me for the first time. He leaned in to kiss me, but I moved away.

"I have a boyfriend," I said firmly. "We are not doing this again."

"Cathy, it's us. We are meant for each other," Jamie said.

"Don't come here just to say that and leave," I said getting up and walking away. "You come into my life, you make everything wonderful and then you leave. You leave me hurting. I finally get over you and you show up again."

"Hey, I did not call three months after the divorce for 'lunch,' that was you," Jamie said standing up and facing me.

"Yes, for lunch. Who showed up afterwards looking for room and board?" I asked. "It sure wasn't me."

"You didn't have to let me stay," Jamie said.

"Yeah, I was going to throw you out, Jamie. I'm just so cold-hearted like that," I said sarcastically and rolling my eyes to add to the effect.

"Why did you let me live here? Because you loved me. You loved me then and you love me yet," Jamie said.

"Can't write your own stuff so you have to steal from Arthur Miller?" I said coldly.

"I don't have to 'steal' from The Crucible," Jamie said. "I just choose to."

"And now I'm choosing to throw you out." I said walking over to the door and opening it for him. "Go home Jamie."

"I'll go back to Elise's apartment, if that is what you mean," Jamie said. "But this place, right here, this will always be home." He kissed my quickly before I pushed him out the door and slammed it shut. If only I could slam my thought of Jamie out the door as well.

_(Thanks for your review! Cathy has finally moved on…or has she? Please Review!)_


	8. The Nightmare

I walked back into my apartment as quietly as I could. "ARGH!" Elise said running out to me and practically throwing Lisa to me. Her hair was messed up, her clothes had spit up on them and she was crying. "I can't do this! This is your entire fault! Why did I ever become involved with you?" Elise cried.

"Shhh, It's okay, Lisa. Shhh," I said cradling my daughter. I couldn't help but think what a better mother Cathy would be. "If you don't love me and you don't like this, maybe…"

"No, Jamie," Elise said cutting me off. "We are not breaking up. We are getting married."

"Elise, it could help our relationship. It could help Lisa," I reasoned.

"It would be better for Lisa if her parents lived together," Elise insisted.

"It would be better for Lisa if her parents were happy together. It would be better if we loved each other. It would be better if we didn't fight. But those things aren't going to happen," I said. "Under the circumstances, the best thing to do is to get a separation for a while."

"A separation? Like a divorce?" Elise asked.

"Sort of. We would still be together, but we wouldn't live together. Just for a while," I said. "Maybe if we spend a few days apart, things would go smoother."

"Who would take the nightmare?" Elise said, referring to her daughter.

"I'll take Lisa. You can live here, I'll go to my friend's apartment for a while," I said. "Okay?"

"Go to Jake's apartment," Elise said.

"My editor, why?" I asked.

"So I can reach you and I know you're not with a prostitute!" Elise yelled.

"Elise!" I yelled, covering Lisa's ears. Lisa started crying. "Do you like to see your child cry?"

"Of course not," Elise said.

"Then stop yelling!" I said.

"She's my child, give her to me," Elise said grabbing her.

"You're going to hurt her," I said trying to hold onto Elise.

"You're a bad father, give her to me!" Elise screamed.

"You shrew, you're the bad parent!" I said.

"Stop!" yelled little Lisa. Well, we stopped. It was Lisa's first word. "Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop!"

"I'll leave in the morning," I said holding Lisa and walking to our room to pack.

"Stay at Jake's!" Elise said as I slammed the door. I cradled Lisa in my arms. I could handle Lisa; I loved her. The one I couldn't handle was Elise. I packed up my bags. Once I had finished, there was a knock on the bedroom door. I opened it and Elise was standing there.

"You sleep on the couch," Elise said, pointing to the couch with blankets and a pillow on it.

"Oh, how cliché," I said as I carried my bags and Lisa out with me.

"Lisa's cradle is in the bedroom. She'll sleep with me," Elise said unusually calm.

"She sleeps better with me," I said lying Lisa on the couch.

"Give me the baby!" Elise screamed suddenly and lunged at me. I moved quickly so I wouldn't fall on Lisa, but instead I landed on my back.

I pushed off Elise, whom had started hitting and punching me. "Don't you get it? Why do you think Lisa's first word was 'stop'? So you ever think?" I asked her. "She wants us to stop fighting. We can't do that, so we might as well break up!"

"You're getting a separation, isn't that enough for you?" Elise asked me. "Why don't you love me anymore?"

"I never loved you!" I screamed. "You are a crazy woman. How could I love a crazy woman?"

"You loved Cathy," Elise said.

"Cathy is…different. She's not crazy. She would be a good mother," I said.

"Then let her adopt Lisa," Elise said. "We can't do this. We were happy before that child. We can be happy again, Jamie. We could get married."

"I don't want to marry you," I said. "But I think Cathy should adopt Lisa. I would rather be a parent with her than with you."

"Are you saying you're leaving me for your ex-wife?" Elise asked.

"Yes, Elise. I love Cathy," I said.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Elise said. "We were happy before the child, the child made us this way. You and Cathy couldn't even work it out when there wasn't a child. You think adding another person will help your relationship?"

"I know it didn't last time," I said, which made Elise roll her eyes. "But this time, I think it will. It doesn't matter, Cathy and I love each other."

"She's told you she loves you?" Elsie asked.

"Well…" I said, stammering.

"She said she was pinning away these last 18 months that you haven't seen each other?" Elise asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Not exactly..." I said.

"She doesn't have a boyfriend named Richard?" Elise asked.

"How did you know that?' I asked.

"I listened to your conversation. Good thing I did, too. I learned a lot about you, Jamie," Elise said. "You are a coward. You have to hide behind Cathy to do anything. If you feel one bit of insecurity or if you feel unsure, you run to Cathy. You are a coward."

"A coward couldn't live with you and stay alive," I retorted.

"No man lives with me anymore, anyway," Elise said picking up Lisa.

"Nobody lives with you anymore, anyway," I said, taking Lisa. "You called her a nightmare, and I'm supposed to trust you with her?"

"Don't wait until morning, leave now," Elise said. I picked up my bags, and put on my coat. I got Lisa all bundled up and started to leave. "You can't keep anything good, can you?"

"No, I'm getting full custody of Lisa," I said walking out. I went to the only place I could think of.

"You can't live here, Jamie," Cathy said after I had told her my dilemma. I was standing in the doorway, holding Lisa, trying to find a way to spend the night. "I have a boyfriend."

"I have a child who needs a warm place to spend the night," I reasoned with her.

"I'm sorry, but you just can't stay here," Cathy said bluntly.

"Why not? I did before," I asked.

"I didn't have a boyfriend then," Cathy said.

"So you get a boyfriend and I can't spend the night on the couch?" I asked. "I don't believe this. Whose apartment is it, yours or Richard's?"

"Actually, we live together," Cathy said. "Well, we will tomorrow. He's coming by first thing in the morning and I don't want you to be here!"

"Where am I supposed to stay, Cathy?" I asked.

"Go to your editor's apartment or something, but stop coming to mine," Cathy said closing the door on me. I walked across the hall and slammed my head against the wall. Now where would I stay? Where would Lisa stay?

"Was that a good enough bluff?" Cathy asked from behind me.

"You scared me half to death!" I said walking in.

"I've been working on it," Cathy said.

"So you and Richard aren't moving in together?" I asked warily.

"Oh no, that was true. Only, Richard is moving in next month or so. I mean, he has to sell his apartment," Cathy said, looking at me like I was ridiculous.

"Has he gotten any good offers yet?" I asked, getting an idea.

"One, but it wasn't that great," Cathy said disappointed.

"Well, whatever it was, I'll add half on," I said.

"Really?" Cathy said lighting up. I loved to see her happy. Hell, I loved seeing her. But knowing I made her happy was just an amazing feeling, even if I did have to help her boyfriend.

"I need a new apartment, so why not Richard's?" I said smiling.

I can't believe this!" Cathy said. "Thank you so much, Jamie!" She hugged me and I put my arms around her and twirled her around.

"So, how much was the offer?" I asked.

"Well, it's a one bedroom and 2 bath apartment with a good sized kitchen and dining/living room," Cathy said. "So the offer was $4,500."

"To buy?" I said, not believing I was getting off so easy.

"Oh no, to rent," Cathy said. "It is too much?"

"Well…how about $6,000?" I asked, saving about 750 dollars a month.

"That would be great!" Cathy said smiling. "Jamie, this means so much for me and Richard."

"So...do you think he's the one?" I asked.

"After being through a divorce, I don't believe in 'the one' anymore," Cathy said. "No offense."

"None taken," I said sitting down on the couch. Man, I really loved this couch.

"Do you still believe in the one?" Cathy asked sitting down next to me, but still respectfully away.

"I believe that I love one person and I always will," I said looking at her. God, she was beautiful.

"Do you? You certainly didn't during our marriage," Cathy said rolling her eyes. "I mean, that it the last thing I could expect to come out of your mouth."

"Why? I still love you, I think I've made that pretty clear," I said. "The way you talk, it sounds as if you never loved me."

"I did love you, Jamie. But that's all in the past. I have a life now, and it doesn't have to include you," Cathy said. "I hate it when you tell me you love me so much and that you always have. You cheated on me, Jamie. You had an affair. How can you tell me you love me now when you didn't love me then?"

"I did, Cathy. I have always loved you," I said. "You think I like that I cheated on you? Do you honestly believe I was happy I had an affair? Do you think I can be happy with Elise? I can't. I'm only happy with you."

"Well, I've been pretty happy without, Jamie. So, I guess you're going to have to learn how to be happy without me," Cathy said bluntly.

"Can you do one thing for me?" I asked, looking down at Lisa in her stroller.

"What, Jamie?" Cathy sighed.

"Adopt Lisa. You'd be the best parent for her," I said.

"Jamie, I can't adopt Lisa, so don't ask me, okay?" Cathy said.

"This is the first time I've asked you, why are you acting like I ask you every other day?" I asked.

"Because…" Cathy said. "Because 18 months ago today, Elise asked me to adopt her. I've been thinking about it all day, and I can't stop. I don't need a baby right now." Cathy got up and calmly walked into her room and silently closed the door.

Well, this was just going lovely.


	9. Where to Stay, Where to Stay?

I walked back into my apartment as quietly as I could. "ARGH!" Elise said running out to me and practically throwing Lisa to me. Her hair was messed up, her clothes had spit up on them and she was crying. "I can't do this! This is your entire fault! Why did I ever become involved with you?" Elise cried.

"Shhh, It's okay, Lisa. Shhh," I said cradling my daughter. I couldn't help but think what a better mother Cathy would be. "If you don't love me and you don't like this, maybe…"

"No, Jamie," Elise said cutting me off. "We are not breaking up. We are getting married."

"Elise, it could help our relationship. It could help Lisa," I reasoned.

"It would be better for Lisa if her parents lived together," Elise insisted.

"It would be better for Lisa if her parents were happy together. It would be better if we loved each other. It would be better if we didn't fight. But those things aren't going to happen," I said. "Under the circumstances, the best thing to do is to get a separation for a while."

"A separation? Like a divorce?" Elise asked.

"Sort of. We would still be together, but we wouldn't live together. Just for a while," I said. "Maybe if we spend a few days apart, things would go smoother."

"Who would take the nightmare?" Elise said, referring to her daughter.

"I'll take Lisa. You can live here, I'll go to my friend's apartment for a while," I said. "Okay?"

"Go to Jake's apartment," Elise said.

"My editor, why?" I asked.

"So I can reach you and I know you're not with a prostitute!" Elise yelled.

"Elise!" I yelled, covering Lisa's ears. Lisa started crying. "Do you like to see your child cry?"

"Of course not," Elise said.

"Then stop yelling!" I said.

"She's my child, give her to me," Elise said grabbing her.

"You're going to hurt her," I said trying to hold onto Elise.

"You're a bad father, give her to me!" Elise screamed.

"You shrew, you're the bad parent!" I said.

"Stop!" yelled little Lisa. Well, we stopped. It was Lisa's first word. "Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop!"

"I'll leave in the morning," I said holding Lisa and walking to our room to pack.

"Stay at Jake's!" Elise said as I slammed the door. I cradled Lisa in my arms. I could handle Lisa; I loved her. The one I couldn't handle was Elise. I packed up my bags. Once I had finished, there was a knock on the bedroom door. I opened it and Elise was standing there.

"You sleep on the couch," Elise said, pointing to the couch with blankets and a pillow on it.

"Oh, how cliché," I said as I carried my bags and Lisa out with me.

"Lisa's cradle is in the bedroom. She'll sleep with me," Elise said unusually calm.

"She sleeps better with me," I said lying Lisa on the couch.

"Give me the baby!" Elise screamed suddenly and lunged at me. I moved quickly so I wouldn't fall on Lisa, but instead I landed on my back.

I pushed off Elise, whom had started hitting and punching me. "Don't you get it? Why do you think Lisa's first word was 'stop'? So you ever think?" I asked her. "She wants us to stop fighting. We can't do that, so we might as well break up!"

"You're getting a separation, isn't that enough for you?" Elise asked me. "Why don't you love me anymore?"

"I never loved you!" I screamed. "You are a crazy woman. How could I love a crazy woman?"

"You loved Cathy," Elise said.

"Cathy is…different. She's not crazy. She would be a good mother," I said.

"Then let her adopt Lisa," Elise said. "We can't do this. We were happy before that child. We can be happy again, Jamie. We could get married."

"I don't want to marry you," I said. "But I think Cathy should adopt Lisa. I would rather be a parent with her than with you."

"Are you saying you're leaving me for your ex-wife?" Elise asked.

"Yes, Elise. I love Cathy," I said.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Elise said. "We were happy before the child, the child made us this way. You and Cathy couldn't even work it out when there wasn't a child. You think adding another person will help your relationship?"

"I know it didn't last time," I said, which made Elise roll her eyes. "But this time, I think it will. It doesn't matter, Cathy and I love each other."

"She's told you she loves you?" Elsie asked.

"Well…" I said, stammering.

"She said she was pinning away these last 18 months that you haven't seen each other?" Elise asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Not exactly..." I said.

"She doesn't have a boyfriend named Richard?" Elise asked.

"How did you know that?' I asked.

"I listened to your conversation. Good thing I did, too. I learned a lot about you, Jamie," Elise said. "You are a coward. You have to hide behind Cathy to do anything. If you feel one bit of insecurity or if you feel unsure, you run to Cathy. You are a coward."

"A coward couldn't live with you and stay alive," I retorted.

"No man lives with me anymore, anyway," Elise said picking up Lisa.

"Nobody lives with you anymore, anyway," I said, taking Lisa. "You called her a nightmare, and I'm supposed to trust you with her?"

"Don't wait until morning, leave now," Elise said. I picked up my bags, and put on my coat. I got Lisa all bundled up and started to leave. "You can't keep anything good, can you?"

"No, I'm getting full custody of Lisa," I said walking out. I went to the only place I could think of.

"You can't live here, Jamie," Cathy said after I had told her my dilemma. I was standing in the doorway, holding Lisa, trying to find a way to spend the night. "I have a boyfriend."

"I have a child who needs a warm place to spend the night," I reasoned with her.

"I'm sorry, but you just can't stay here," Cathy said bluntly.

"Why not? I did before," I asked.

"I didn't have a boyfriend then," Cathy said.

"So you get a boyfriend and I can't spend the night on the couch?" I asked. "I don't believe this. Whose apartment is it, yours or Richard's?"

"Actually, we live together," Cathy said. "Well, we will tomorrow. He's coming by first thing in the morning and I don't want you to be here!"

"Where am I supposed to stay, Cathy?" I asked.

"Go to your editor's apartment or something, but stop coming to mine," Cathy said closing the door on me. I walked across the hall and slammed my head against the wall. Now where would I stay? Where would Lisa stay?

"Was that a good enough bluff?" Cathy asked from behind me.

"You scared me half to death!" I said walking in.

"I've been working on it," Cathy said.

"So you and Richard aren't moving in together?" I asked warily.

"Oh no, that was true. Only, Richard is moving in next month or so. I mean, he has to sell his apartment," Cathy said, looking at me like I was ridiculous.

"Has he gotten any good offers yet?" I asked, getting an idea.

"One, but it wasn't that great," Cathy said disappointed.

"Well, whatever it was, I'll add half on," I said.

"Really?" Cathy said lighting up. I loved to see her happy. Hell, I loved seeing her. But knowing I made her happy was just an amazing feeling, even if I did have to help her boyfriend.

"I need a new apartment, so why not Richard's?" I said smiling.

I can't believe this!" Cathy said. "Thank you so much, Jamie!" She hugged me and I put my arms around her and twirled her around.

"So, how much was the offer?" I asked.

"Well, it's a one bedroom and 2 bath apartment with a good sized kitchen and dining/living room," Cathy said. "So the offer was $4,500."

"To buy?" I said, not believing I was getting off so easy.

"Oh no, to rent," Cathy said. "It is too much?"

"Well…how about $6,000?" I asked, saving about 750 dollars a month.

"That would be great!" Cathy said smiling. "Jamie, this means so much for me and Richard."

"So...do you think he's the one?" I asked.

"After being through a divorce, I don't believe in 'the one' anymore," Cathy said. "No offense."

"None taken," I said sitting down on the couch. Man, I really loved this couch.

"Do you still believe in the one?" Cathy asked sitting down next to me, but still respectfully away.

"I believe that I love one person and I always will," I said looking at her. God, she was beautiful.

"Do you? You certainly didn't during our marriage," Cathy said rolling her eyes. "I mean, that it the last thing I could expect to come out of your mouth."

"Why? I still love you, I think I've made that pretty clear," I said. "The way you talk, it sounds as if you never loved me."

"I did love you, Jamie. But that's all in the past. I have a life now, and it doesn't have to include you," Cathy said. "I hate it when you tell me you love me so much and that you always have. You cheated on me, Jamie. You had an affair. How can you tell me you love me now when you didn't love me then?"

"I did, Cathy. I have always loved you," I said. "You think I like that I cheated on you? Do you honestly believe I was happy I had an affair? Do you think I can be happy with Elise? I can't. I'm only happy with you."

"Well, I've been pretty happy without, Jamie. So, I guess you're going to have to learn how to be happy without me," Cathy said bluntly.

"Can you do one thing for me?" I asked, looking down at Lisa in her stroller.

"What, Jamie?" Cathy sighed.

"Adopt Lisa. You'd be the best parent for her," I said.

"Jamie, I can't adopt Lisa, so don't ask me, okay?" Cathy said.

"This is the first time I've asked you, why are you acting like I ask you every other day?" I asked.

"Because…" Cathy said. "Because 18 months ago today, Elise asked me to adopt her. I've been thinking about it all day, and I can't stop. I don't need a baby right now." Cathy got up and calmly walked into her room and silently closed the door.

Well, this was just going lovely.

"Cathy, how was I supposed to know that?" I asked. "I'm sorry, but I think a baby is exactly what we need right now."

"We don't need anything," Cathy said, my hope rising. "We don't need anything, because there is no we here. There is you and there is Richard and I. That is all." Did you hear that big splat? That was all my hopes falling. Cathy did have a life. She already had a 'we', and it didn't include me.

"Fine. I'll call you tomorrow about Richard's apartment," I said. "Unless of course, you don't want me to have it now."

"You need an apartment, it might as well be Richard's," Cathy said. "You seem to want everything else he has." Ouch!

"I'm going then," I said. There wasn't much else to do, so I walked picked up Lisa and all our stuff and walked out. Though I hated to, I went to Jake's. The minute I got there, Jake made me call 'that bitch you call your girlfriend.'

"Jake!" I said, covering Lisa's ears', though it would have done no good.

"Oh, sorry," Jake said. He leaned down to Lisa. "Lisa, honey? Don't say bitch."

"Jake!" I said again.

"No! No no no no no no no no!" Lisa said happily. Lisa was happy anywhere she got attention. I was not so easily pleased. Though I felt like a bad guest, I grumbled through dinner and drinks afterward.

"You'll have to sit on the cough, Jamie," Jake said.

"Better not be lumpy," I grumbled. It was. I slept as uneasily as I lay on the lumpy couch. Could this day get any worse?

_(Thanks for your reviews! Cathy and Richard seem to be going pretty steady, but are they? Will Richard find out what happened between Cathy and Jamie that Cathy didn't say? Will he be mad? How mad? How much more of the plot should I give away? Just kidding, I'm stopping now. Please Review!) _


	10. Two Losses and a Gain

"What?" I said in shock as my roommate sat across from me on the couch. "Are you kidding me? Do you think you could have told me sooner?"

"I didn't know then. I'm sorry," Richard said looking down at his hands.

"How long have you had…it?" I asked. I had to get the information.

"I've been HIV positive for a month now," Richard said. "I've had AIDS for two weeks. I'm so, so sorry."

"Do you know who you got it from?" I asked, wondering if I had it then. Unless…Oh, please god, no!

"Carl," Richard said looking up. "Please don't be mad."

"You expect me not to be mad?" I asked rhetorically.

"I'm sorry," Richard said looking back down at his hands.

"Stop saying you're sorry. That's won't fix things," I said getting up. I paced the floor. What could I do? My boyfriend was gay. If your boyfriend is gay, is he still your boyfriend? What am I saying? Shit, he's gay!

"So now I'm just something that needs to be fixed?" Richard said. He paused and added, "Okay, that doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean."

"No, you don't need to be fixed, this relationship does," I said.

"Cathy, if I'm gay we have no relationship!" Richard yelled at me. "See I sleep with gay men and you don't."

"Richard!" I said sharply. I took a deep breath. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I really would have told you sooner, but I didn't know," Richard said. "I know this sounds cliché, but I really do hope we can still be friends."

"I understand, Richard," I said. "I would like to be friends, too. But I need some alone time before that can happen."

"By alone time do you mean thirty minutes or…?" Richard asked. I looked at him and he nodded. "I understand. I'll take my stuff." He was going to move in today! This so was not fair! I loved him. Richard left and I immediately called Heather.

"Hello?" Heather said in a happy voice.

"He's got AIDS!" I cried and started bawling my eyes out.

"Cathy?" Heather said cautiously.

"Richard has AIDS!" I said. I couldn't bear to say that he was gay out loud.

"Oh my goodness! You have to get checked!" Heather said. "I'll come with you, if you want, for moral support."

"Who gives a crap anymore? Richard is gay!" I said not even realizing what I was saying. What if Richard wasn't completely out yet? Oh no, what had I done?

"No, he's not," Heather scoffed.

"Yes he is! He just told me," I said.

"Well that's not what he told me last night," Heather said. She gasped. "Oh my goodness Cathy. I'm sorry. That is so not the thing you need to hear right now. Oh, Cathy! I'm sorry."

"You slept with him?" I asked.

"No, no, no of course not," Heather said quickly, which obviously meant she was lying.

"Heather, how could you?" I screamed.

"I didn't for three months, that how I could!" Heather responded. "Why do you get the perfect boyfriend and an ex husband who adores you? I let you have the ex-husband, let me have Richard!"

"He was my boyfriend, Heather," I said, as if that explained everything. I couldn't believe I was in another relationship with someone who cheated on me.

"He was my lover, Cathy," Heather retorted.

"How was I ever even friends with you?" I asked her. "How could you do this to me so soon after what Jamie did? Do you have a heart?"

"No, Richard has it. I love him, Cathy and he loves me," Heather said.

"No, he loves me, Elise!" I said, gasping afterwards.

"You obviously still have Jamie on the brain. Why should Richard wait around for you to be ready when he can have me now?" Heather said. "This conversation never happened, Cathy." I heard a click and a dial tone. She hung up on me! I hung up and sat down on my couch. I had lost my boyfriend and my best friend in less than an hour. What could I do? I started crying. The doorbell rang and I dried my eyes as I walked to the door. I opened the door, and there stood Jamie.

"Cathy, I know I should be here now but…" Jamie said, as he looked at he closer. "Have you been crying? Cathy, what's wrong?"

I smiled and said, "Oh, fuck it." I pulled Jamie close and kissed him hard. I closed the door behind him and lead him into my room.

It's time for make-up sex.

_(Thanks for your reviews and patience! There you go, J, make-up sex! Just kidding, I actually was planning to do this; I didn't do it just for you. What will happen afterwards? Will Cathy adopt Lisa? Will Elise still want her to? Please Review!)_


	11. Bliss

Cathy kissed my chest again as we lay in her bed. This was all too crazy and wonderful to be true. There had to be a catch. What snag was going to catch us this time? What could happen now? "Jamie?" Cathy whispered.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Are you happy?" she asked me.

"Extremely," I whispered back and kissed her. When we pulled away she was smiling.

"I'm happy, too," Cathy said. "I'm just afraid…"

"Of what?" I asked. "We're happy, Cathy, what can go wrong?"

"We were happy in the beginning of our marriage, weren't we? We were happy all those months ago, weren't we?" Cathy asked. "I just don't know what is in the future that will tear us apart again."

"Nothing will ever tear me away from you again, Cathy," I said as I put my arms around her. "I love you too much to be without you."

"I love you, too Jamie," Cathy said and rested her head on me. "But what about Lisa? And Elise? I thought she wanted to get married."

"Actually, we broke up," I said smiling. "Finally." Cathy smiled. This was paradise. I was with Cathy, she would adopt Lisa and we would be her parents. Maybe even move to a suburb. Cathy could be a stay-at-home wife and I could work at home writing my books. It would be perfect.

Cathy looked at me and chuckled. "Lisa is going to have some messed up life," she said. I frowned.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Jamie, think about it," Cathy explained. "Daddy married Mommy1, divorced her for Mommy2, and left her for Mommy1, who finally adopted her and now lives with her. Oh, and she sees Mommy2 every other weekend and Daddy and Mommy2 always yell. You don't think that's going to be messed up?"

"I suppose…" I said. "Hey, you want to adopt Lisa?"

"Of course," Cathy said kissing me.

"Besides," I said, "Lisa will know Daddy and Mommy1 loves each other very much, so why should it matter what Mommy2 does?"

"Maybe because that's biological Mommy?" Cathy reasoned. "Besides, she'll have partial custody, won't she?"

"I hope not," I said. "We will be Lisa's parents, not Elise."

"It's her mother, she should she her child," Cathy said sitting up to face me. "Would you never want to see Lisa again? Besides, she has a good case against you for custody."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I thought I was a good parent, or at least a better parent than Elise was or could ever be.

"She'll say you are unreliable. First you had a wife, then you left her, now you're going back," Cathy said. "I just want you to be prepared for everything, and that is what she will say to hurt you."

"She can't hurt me as long as you love me," I said, than I kissed her forehead.

"I love you," Cathy said, "so much."

"Our life is going to be bliss from now own, Cathy, bliss," I said, daydreaming out loud. "We could even move into a suburb near the city so Lisa can go to a normal school. I'll write my best sellers from home and you'll be a stay-at-home mom. It will be bliss." I looked over at Cathy and I could tell she thought it was anything but bliss.

"Stay-at-home mom?" Cathy repeated. .

"Well, yeah. I just think it would be better for Lisa, you know?" I said cautiously.

"My career is finally starting and you want me to be a stay-a-t-home mom?" Cathy said scornfully. Wrong approach.

"All I mean to say is that…" I started. Think of something, fast! "Well, wouldn't it be a bit of a commute from the suburb to the theatre eight times a week?" Good one. I smiled at Cathy, but she didn't smile back. Apparently, not a good one.

"Who says we're living in a suburb?" Cathy retorted, getting out of bed and getting dressed. Shit, did I always ruin things?

"No, I mean, it just, I want a family…" I said, not really getting anywhere.

"And we can't be a family if I'm an actress?" Cathy asked as she slipped on her jeans. "What, should I be a Desperate Housewife?"

"Cathy, please, just listen to me," I asked. Cathy stood there crossed her arms. She raised her eyebrows to tell me to continue. "I'm sorry. I don't really want you to stop acting. You love acting and if you stopped, you would be devastated. I don't want to be the one who hurts you anymore. Please, forgive me." Cathy waited a moment, and then she hugged me.

"I forgive you, do you forgive me for overacting?" Cathy asked me.

"Only if you take off your clothes again," I joked, but she did anyway. We had bliss for the rest of the afternoon, if you know what I mean.

Nothing could tear us apart again.

_(Thanks for your reviews! What could tear Jamie and Cathy apart again? Why hasn't Jamie been writing lately? Or has he…? Please Review!) _


	12. Old Relationship, Old Memories

"The phone is ringing," Jamie said bluntly. It was weird. I mean, we've been together for a week, but we didn't really know what to talk about. The only time we had a good conversation was after sex.

"I'll get it," I said, getting up from the couch where I was reading. "Hello?"

"Cathy, don't hang –up," said Richard. "I'm so, so sorry."

He was calling now? "Sorry, wrong number," I said and hung -up. I felt bad, but I had Jamie again, I didn't want to screw it up. Jamie was at his laptop typing. I tried to start a new conversation. "Writing a new book?"

"Actually, it's an old one I didn't finish," Jamie explained. "I read it again and made some edits. It's better now."

"You started a book and didn't finish it?" I asked. "Since when? I mean, when did you stop?"

"Right before the divorce," Jamie said. It was the first time we mentioned our marriage. Instead of further this conversation, I picked up Lisa from her playpen and danced around with her.

"Be careful with her," Jamie said, watching me tap with Lisa. He was such an overprotective father, but it was cute. Just wait until she wants to date.

"Don't worry, Daddy," I said, tapping around the kitchen. "Oh, by the way, I have an audition this afternoon. It was a kind of last minute thing. Could you go shopping? We have, like, no milk."

"Yeah, of course," Jamie said, concentrating on his work. Suddenly, a memory came flashing back.

"Go shopping, will you?" I asked Jamie. "We need milk for coffee in the morning."

_"Yeah, of course," Jamie said, typing away._

_"Jamie, did you hear me?" I asked._

_"Yes, go get milk, I heard you," Jamie said, still typing._

_"Will you go get milk then?" I asked. "I have to update my résumé."_

_"I'm on a roll, Cathy," Jamie said, "Can't you add fake plays to your resume later?"_

_"Excuse me, Jamie?" I said. "Since when is your work more important than mine?"_

_"Since I'm the only one making any money," Jamie said, finally looking at me. "I think my career is more important." He went back to his computer and continued typing. Argh, that sound. Tip tap tip tap tap tap, tip tip tap tap tip tip tap tip tap tap tip. It annoyed me so much. Tip tap tap tip tip tip tap tap tap tip tip tap. I was so angry, I went over to the computer and pulled the plug. "Cathy! I was working on that! I hadn't saved recently! Do you know how much I just lost?"_

_"Yes, your bed!" I said._

_"What?" Jamie asked._

_"Your sleeping on the couch, mister," I said, getting pillows. _

_"'I'm not sleeping here at all," Jamie said, grabbing his coat and walking out. I stared at the door and began to cry. I later found out that he was going to see Elise. I cried all night, I couldn't sleep…_

"You know what, I'll just go after my audition," I said. I didn't want the same thing to happen.

"No, it's not a problem," Jamie said, getting up from his work and hugging me. "Besides, I'll be able to spend some quality time with Lisa. Right, honey?" Jamie picked up his daughter and 'flew' her through the air.

"Be careful with her," I said, genuinely worried.

"Don't worry, Mommy," Jamie said mocking me. I crossed my arms. He smiled and kissed me. "It's completely safe. When is your audition?"

"It's at 3:30," I said looking at the clock. It was two. "I should start getting ready, warming my voice and all."

"Lisa and I will go to the Supermarket now, right Little Lisa?" Jamie said. "Let's go!" Jamie put on his coat, then Lisa's coat. "Stroller or no?" Jamie asked Lisa in a serious voice. I couldn't help giggling.

"No!" Lisa said, pointing to the stroller. Jamie put her in, but she started to cry. "No, no, no, no, no, no!"

"No?" Jamie said, tickling Lisa. Lisa started laughing. He picked her up and left. I started warming my voice, and soon it was time to leave. Before I knew it I was waiting with a zillion other girls to audition.

"Number 56!" A lady yelled. That was me. I got up and walked into the room smiling. A table of men, as usual.

"Cathy, what will you be singing for us?" the director asked me.

"When You Come Home to Me," I said, always smiling.

"Proceed," the producer (I think) said.

"When you come home to me…" I started singing. It flowed easily and sounded better than ever. I felt as if I was doing the best I could, or better. When I finished, I smiled. They let me sing the whole song!

"Please read these lines for us," The director asked, handing me a script. I noticed the highlighted part.

"Please do it with a British accent," the director added. I began.

"Why are you following me, Harry?" I asked.

"I'm not following, exactly," the director said, reading for Harry.

"At the Supermarket, you put yourself on sale so I would buy you," I said as

Gabrielle, the British woman.

"I know you, Gabby, you can't resist a bargain," the director read.

"The only way I'd take you home is if someone was giving me money, and maybe not even then," I said. "Stop following me."

"I love you," the director said.

"That's nice, now leave," I said. The director started laughing.

"Thank you, that will be all," the director said, taking the script back.

"Thank you, thank you so much," I said as I left. I was beaming. I was skipping when I went into the apartment. Jamie was sitting on the couch, sulking. "What's wrong?" I asked him. He pointed to the kitchen. I walked over and there was Richard.

"Did he call you today?" Jamie asked.

"Yes," I said. "But I didn't talk to him. I said wrong number and hung up. Why? Why are you here, Richard?"

"Heather's missing," Richard said.

_(Thanks for your reviews. Oh, don't you hate me for leaving you hanging like that? It's okay; the next chapter is going to be super long. Where is Heather? What happened with Cathy's audition? Will old emotions stir with Richard around? Please Review!) _


	13. The NotSoSuper Market

As I was leaving for the Supermarket with Lisa, Cathy was warming up her voice. I really hoped she did well in this audition. She really is talented. I only wished that some of those genes had gone into Lisa.

When I got to the Supermarket, I put Lisa in the cart and started walking around. "Do we need lettuce, Lisa?" I asked her holding up a head of lettuce.

"No!" Lisa squealed smiling. "No, no, no, no, no!" She started laughing and then she hiccupped. She started laughing again, which made her hiccup again.

Translation: Yes.

I continued walking down the aisles when I heard a man talking on his cell phone. "Honey, do we need any cereal?" the man's voice said. Wait…

"Richard?" I said as I turned to the next aisle.

"What?" Richard said as he turned around. He went back to his phone conversation. "No, not you, honey, an old friend just surprised me."

"Old friend?" I asked. Richard gave me a Look, and I rolled my eyes but stayed quiet. Besides, it would be easier to hear his conversation.

"No, just an old friend. I swear. Why would I cheat on you?" He said. Here I laughed a little, which received another Richard Look. "No, I'll be home soon. Okay, bye Heather." Heather? Heather as in Cathy's best friend? As in Cathy's backstabbing no good horrible friend Heather? Lovely.

"So now I'm an old friend?" I asked him.

"Yes, it's what I call all my ex-girlfriend's ex husbands whom she loves more than me during our relationship, even though she denied it," Richard said evenly.

"What do you call your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend, who also happens to be her ex-husband?" I asked just as evenly.

"I call them crap," Richard said.

"Funny," I said laughing, "That's what I call my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend who broke up with her for her best friend."

"If I know anybody like that, I'll let him know," Richard said, starting to push his cart away. I stepping in front of him and blocked him.

"I meant you, jerk face," I said, breaking my calm attitude.

"I got that because I notice subtlety, unlike some people," Richard said, also breaking his evenness. "See, when somebody starts to push their cart away from someone else, that means that don't want to talk to that person." Richard started to move away again, but I blocked him again. I would not let him go that easily.

"See, when somebody blocks another person from leaving," I said. "That means the conversation isn't over."

"Well, I think this one is," Richard said bumping my cart. This rattled my cart and upset Lisa. I picked her up to calm her while Richard got away. I hate it when they get away. I decided this time to let it go, though. After all, we still needed milk.

As I walk through the Supermarket, I get this odd feeling I'm being watched. Every time I turn around, though, nobody is specifically watching me, so I try to forget it. I'm on line checking out and someone pulls up behind me. This shouldn't sound unusual, but for some reason, it is. When I put my packages into my cart, I realize the person behind me is Heather. I realize who has been watching me. "After me now?" I ask, letting her know that I know what she has done.

"Why would I?" Heather asked innocently.

"You seem to want every other boyfriend Cathy has," I say smiling. If her smile fades, it is only for half a second.

Her innocent look is back when she says, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Her smile was more than an innocent smile; it challenged me. It was saying, 'Go on and say it. You know you want to. Tell me what I did was wrong.' I don't take the challenge, though, that is just what she wants

"Of course you don't," is all I say as I leave. I look down at Lisa and I feel so blessed to know that Cathy and I will start a family and not have to deal with people like Heather or Richard anymore. Hell, they deserve each other.

I'm home soon and I see a message on the machine. I'm hoping its Cathy with good news. I play the message. It's not Cathy. "Heather's missing. I don't know where she is, but she's not here. I thought she might be there. It's Richard, by the way. If you see her, Cathy, tell her that I, uh, I'm waiting for her. Uh, okay thanks. Bye." That jerk. Does he really think he can call here and do something like that to Cathy? I dial his number from the Caller ID to tell him off.

"Hello?" Richard says as he picks up his phone anxiously. I can tell he's hopeless without her. I don't know why he is or how I can tell, but I just know. Call me chicken, but I don't curse him out like I planned.

"I saw Heather at the Supermarket today," I hear myself say.

"Jamie?" Richard asks surprised. I can't blame him. If I were he, I'd be surprised I was helping him out.

"When I was checking out, she was behind me. I thought- I thought you might want to know," I said. "It was about twenty or thirty minutes ago."

"Thank you. Thank you so much," Richard said, and I could tell he was seriously grateful. It was a bit…awkward.

"Well, like I said, I just thought you should know," I said lamely. "I mean, I heard your message on the machine, so…"

"You live with Cathy?" Richard asked, completely changing his tone.

"Well…yes," I said.

"So you know about the call earlier," Richard said. "I mean, when Heather found out I called earlier, she threatened to leave. Now she has and it's scary, you know?"

"You called?" I said, still stuck on that.

"Yes, earlier this morning," Richard said, making it sound like I was dense.

"Did you guys talk long?" I asked.

"No," Richard said. "She said wrong number, even though we both knew it wasn't. We barely talks, but I said I was sorry."

"You think that can solve it?" I asked. "You think she will forgive you now? You think now she'll be your friend again?"

"I don't expect her to ever forgive me, but knowing she at least heard me say I was sorry is enough. I guess you think that sounds dumb," Richard said quietly.

"No, I understand. I felt the same," I said. I remembered just wanting Cathy's forgiveness, Richard wants even less. Maybe…maybe I can give him more.

"Do you…do you want to come over and be able to talk to her?" I asked. "She should be home from her audition soon."

"Thanks. I'll be over soon," Richard said. "Bye." I straightened up a bit- for Cathy's sake- and then he was over.

"Hey, come on in," I said letting him in.

"I really appreciate this. I mean, I didn't think you'd let me have a chance," Richard said. "I can't wait to see Cathy."

"Well, I remember wanting her forgiveness, I think she'd appreciate, too," I said, and I honestly did think she would.

"Well, I'm hoping for more than forgiveness, of course," Richard said, as if I should have known.

"But you said you only wanted forgiveness," I said. I was getting very confused.

"To some extent, yes," Richard said, "But who doesn't want more?"

"I don't want you to have more," I said. "I don't want you to ruin what Cathy and I have. I'll let you stay, get forgiveness, and then you will leave." Richard glared at me, then waited in the kitchen. I sat on the couch.

Soon, Cathy was opening the door. She saw me sulking there and her smile faded. "What's wrong?" she asked me. If only she knew how wrong things could be. I couldn't even get up the guts to say anything, so I just pointed to where Richard was standing. Cathy turned and saw him standing there. I could see a range of emotions from shock to anger to sadness to loneliness.

"Did he call you today?" I asked when I finally could talk again.

"Yes," Cathy said slowly, choosing her words. "But I didn't talk to him. I said wrong number and hung up. Why? Why are you here, Richard?"

I could see that Richard wanted to say he was sorry. I could tell he wanted to go up and kiss her. I could tell he still loved her. But I also could tell he knew that she had moved on. So he didn't say he was sorry, instead he said, "Heather's missing." He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and I slightly smiled in thanks.   
Maybe he isn't that bad, but where's Heather?

_(Thanks for your reviews! Sorry it's been so long, tests and all, yuck. But I'm back, aren't you happy? Will Richard blurt out his true feelings to Cathy? Will he do it even if they find Heather? Speaking of heather, WHERE IS HEATHER?!?! Please Review!) _


	14. Walking, The New Meditation

It's cold out, but I don't close my jacket. The cold is burning my cheeks; it's almost comforting. I walk up the street, and then back down again. I got to the end, shook my head and walked back up the street, only to find myself walking down it again. I was making one big pace in front of Cathy's apartment. Suddenly I realized it didn't feel uncomfortable to say Cathy's apartment. I didn't have to say our apartment. It wasn't our apartment. It was Cathy's.

I stopped pacing. I felt like an intruder in Cathy's life. She had Heather back now, and she obviously still has Richard. Why am I getting mixed up in this love triangle? Let Heather, Richard and Cathy deal with whatever weird things would happen to them, I was not going to let any of it happen to me. It had already started affecting me. I wasn't writing much, I obviously wasn't thinking clearly and I wasn't really in love with Cathy. I was in love with the fantasy, the idea, and the friendship. It wasn't right of me to keep doing what I was doing to Cathy. I had to leave.

'You are not seriously leaving someone you truly love after all that time you waited for it,' a voice in my head thought. This was true, but did I truly love Cathy? I couldn't even tell anymore. I loved being with her, and I loved how I felt when I was with her, but I'm not sure if I loved Cathy.

I started walking. I couldn't even tell you where, though. My body was walking and making all the decisions for me, making sure I crossed at the right time and all that, but my mind wasn't there. I kept thinking, "I've got to start over. I can't keep doing this dance." So I walked. I walked to Central Park and all around it. I walked to Midtown and went into a thousand tourist traps and bought nothing. I walked all over the city and still didn't know what I was going to do. I walked halfway back to Cathy's apartment, and then turned around. Five minutes later, I found myself walking back towards Cathy's apartment. I don't know why, but it seemed like I had to go back now. I was ready to go back now.

I walked up to her apartment and knocked on the door. I had the key, but I couldn't use it. I couldn't keep going into her life, and that started with not using a key. The key shows that you are with someone and you want to be and you have mutual feelings. I wasn't sure if I had any feelings at this point, mutual are not. How could I use such a precious gift as a key when I didn't know if I loved the person to whom it truly belonged? Cathy answered the door. Her eyes were red and a bit puffy. She had been crying over me. "Don't waste your tears over me," I said. I walked in and started packing up.

"No! No Jamie, I'm not wasting anything with you!" Cathy said starting to cry again. "I cry because I care for you! I love you Jamie! And god damn it, I don't know why, but when you love someone you cry for them and about them. I'm not wasting anything on you. I love you too much to waste anything I have for you. My life would be a waste without you. I don't need anything but you and Lisa in my life. I want to be with you, I want to live with you; I want to marry you again! I want to be your wife! Jamie, please, listen to me! Richard is gone! If you want, Heather can go! I would do anything to be with you! Jamie, please! Don't leave me! Please, Jamie! Don't go. I would die without you! I would die." During her speech, I packed calmly and I didn't say a word or show any emotion. "Please Jamie," Cathy said, turning me to look into her eyes. "Talk to me."

I stood there for what felt like eternity. "I have to go now, Cathy," I said. "Good-bye." I picked up Lisa, who was asleep in her baby carrier. Cathy was just standing there frozen, only her tears moving down her cheek. I looked back for a second and then closed the door. I heard Cathy start bawling again, shouting. It killed me, but I knew that in time it would be for the best. I hated the time that it would take. It would eat away at me, and I would doubt myself, but right now I knew there was nothing I had done where I had been surer of myself at that moment.

I walk down a familiar way, but I don't recognize it. My body is still making the decisions for me. I was practically there when I realized where I was going. To an outside person, it would seem logical, but for me it didn't. I kept on walking. I got there and I knocked on their door. The resident opened it and said, "I knew you would come back."

_(Thanks for the reviews! Where did Jamie go? What will happen with Cathy now? Please please please review!)_


	15. Wallowing and Swallowing

I stayed in my apartment for 16 hours, 24 minutes and 47 seconds after Jamie left. My main thought was, "He left me. The only man I've ever truly loved just left me again." Over and over like a broken record. I drank and ate when I needed to, but I did nothing I didn't have to do. I didn't read books. Why should I read my mystery novels when I could just look in the past few weeks and try to find clues that Jamie was unhappy? I didn't watch TV. Why should I watch soap operas of tangled romances when my entire adult life was episode that seemed to rerun too many times? I didn't even answer my phone. Heather called a couple of times, Richard might have even called, my I just let my answering machine pick up.

It wasn't until 16 hours, 24 minutes and 47 seconds after Jamie left that I even listened to someone leaving a message on my machine. "Hello, Cathy, this is Joe Handon calling about your audition for our show," Joe said. "I'm sorry, but you are not cast in our show. Although you gave a wonderful audition, there were just more qualified people with experiences other than tours. Thank you very much for auditioning." That did it. I cracked. I picked up the phone.

"Listen Joe Shmo! I gave my best audition!" I said to him, "You have no idea how long I've waited for a job that would be as wonderful as this one! You better have a good fucking actress in your fucking show, because if it's somebody that sucks, I swear I will have to hurt somebody! What the fuck is your problem? "More experience"? What kind of s fucked-up excuse is that? Who am I supposed to get more experience if I can't get cast to get the fucking experience! I made the guy laugh, isn't that a good thing? Who the hell did you cast then?" I waited angrily for a response before I realized he had hung up on me. I slammed down the phone and fell to my knees crying.

My phone rang again and since I was so close, I just picked up. "Hello?" I said, still crying a little.

"Oh my goodness, Cathy, are you crying?" Heather asked me. "That's it, I don't care if you want to see me or not, I'm coming over." Heather hung up before I could protest. I cleaned up my apartment a bit and there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and Heather was standing there with two bulging bags. "Comfort food?" Heather asked as she opened the bag in her left hand.

"Come on in, Heather," I said letting her in. I dug into the comfort food as soon as we sat down. After two hours of crying and talking, there were half eaten packages of Twinkies, Ho-Ho's, Reese's, Fastbreaks, Cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, Oreos and many more. "I mean, how could he not be happy? He said he loved me everyday! How can you not be happy if you're with someone you love?" I said. Heather listened and rubbed my back. "Unless he never loved me. How can that bastard say he loved me if he didn't? God, why the hell do I love him so much?" I started crying again.

"Shhh," Heather said comforting me. "You are the best thing that ever happened to Jamie, don't let him get you down. At least now you'll have time to work on that show you auditioned for. I'm sure you got the job."

"Nope, they called," I said. "I didn't get it because someone more qualified than me showed up. I bet she screwed the director or the producer or something."

"Well, it's there loss! You'll get a better job and become a big star! Then they'll be begging for you to be in their show," Heather said. "And you'll turn them down."

"I doubt they'll ever want me. I kind of cursed out the guy who called. He hung up on me, but I think he heard the first "Fuck you" so I don't think it will be happening," I said sadly.

"Oh dear," Heather said, continuing to rub my back.

"I just hope to God he doesn't bring Lisa back to Elise," I said and I bit into another Twinkie.

_(Thanks for the reviews! Did Jamie go back to Elise? Who got the role Cathy didn't? Please Review!) _


	16. And Other Miracles

"So where have you been for the last month with my baby, Jamie?" Elise asked. "With Cathy? Surprise, surprise, that didn't last long. And now you want to come back. It's for Lisa, right? So she can grow up with both of us, right? Bullshit. You need a place to stay after the nightmare of your ex-wife. What better place to go than you're ex-lover's apartment? Like I would let you in, Jamie. How dare you think that? How dare you?"

"Elise," I said, "I just wanted to talk to you about custody terms. I'm going to live in the city for as long as I can. We'll keep her alternating two weeks until the paperwork comes in. Do you agree or not?"

"I agree," Elise said with pursed lips.

"I'm glad. Do you want to keep her for two weeks now or not?" I asked calmly. "Or would you rather keep her for a month, and then we'll start the two weeks alternating?"

"You take her, my apartment isn't baby ready yet. I'll take her in two weeks. You better bring her back, Jamie," Elise said and then she closed the door. I chuckled at her sudden caring- or feigning caring- and walked around a while. Lisa had fallen asleep and I sat on a bench and watched her sleep. She was a perfect little angel. She didn't know anything about harming people or anything bad. Babies didn't know any of that stuff yet. They don't know what it's like to…wait a minute. I rushed the nearest Starbucks. I ordered coffee and plugged in my laptop. I started writing everything I was thinking, feeling, doing anything. I just started writing. I must have ordered about a dozens cups of coffee to keep me awake. I stayed until they closed up. I read over what I wrote and titled my new piece of work: _Babies, Wives and Other Miracles._

_(Thanks for your reviews! Sorry, this one is kind of short, but the next one will be longer! What is this new piece of work Jamie is writing? Please Review!)_


	17. The Five Stages to Getting Over a Guy

"This sucks. I can't even eat comfort food right," I said as I stumbled into my bedroom after throwing up in my bathroom.

"Don't say that," Heather said. Thank god she was still there.

"Do you know any other person who throws up after eating supposed comfort food?" I asked her. She stood there in mock-thought for a moment.

"Hmmm, let's think," Heather said. "Yeah! My best girl friend in college threw up after every time she had comfort food. Well, she threw up after every meal, I don't think that counts."

"Thanks for the support, Heather," I said flopping on my bed. "You are a true friend." I looked over at Heather, who flopped down next to me.

"Look, I throw up after eating too much comfort food. It's good though. It's like getting the pain out of your system," Heather said. "It's good to get it out." I looked at her with a skeptical look. "What?" she asked. "All I'm saying is that it's like getting Jamie out. Let it all out." At that moment, I had to get something out right away. I covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom again. Heather followed me and held my hair back. After that little, err… episode, we laid down on my bed again.

"Is it weird that I miss him, I'm angry at him and I'm happy this happened all at the same time?" I asked Heather.

"No, you're just going through the stages," Heather said with a shrug.

"The stages?" I asked sitting up on my elbows.

"You don't know the stages?" Heather asked me getting up on her elbows as well.

"Uh…no. Should I?" I asked.

"Yeah," Heather said. "Ok, these are The Five Stages to Getting Over a Guy. Stage 1: Shock/ Disbelief. This is usually when you first hear about it. For you, it was crying and asking him to stay. Stage 2: Anger/Sadness. This comes pretty quickly after Stage 1. This is when you eat your comfort food and cry. Then, five minutes later, you'll be so angry, you'll swear off men forever. Are you with me on this?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to absorb all of this.

"Okay, Stage 3: Wanting to a) Get him back or b) Get over him. This is when you don't know if you just want to be with him again or just want this whole process to be over," Heather continued. "Stage 4: Loneliness. In this stage you don't exactly miss the person, but you miss the idea of being in a relationship. You know what I mean, right?"

"And Stage 5?" I asked.

"That I'll tell you when you get there," Heather said with a smile. "So now I think you're at a Modified Stage 2. You miss him (AKA sadness), you are anger at him and you're happy…why the hell are you happy?" Heather said.

"Well, I mean, at least it happened now before anything permanent happened, like a baby or a marriage," I said.

"I think you've already done the marriage thing with Jamie, and that didn't work out terribly well," Heather responded. "And you practically adopted Lisa, so really, you already had permanent."

"Thanks for making me feel better," I said lying back down.

"You've got to be brutally honest with yourself in Stage 2. How do you ever expect to get to Stage 3 if you always feel angry and sad?" Heather asked me.

"Stage 3 doesn't sound so peachy right now. I think I'd rather stay in Stage 2," I said curling into a ball.

"Nobody can live in Stage 2," Heather said. "Trust me. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt."

"Where are you in the stages?" I asked. "With Richard, I mean."

"Stage 3 ½," Heather replied easily.

"There's 3 ½? You never told me about a 3 ½!" I shouted.

"Well, it isn't a real stage. I mean, I almost just miss the idea of Richard, but sometimes I want him back. I don't really know where I am. So I guess I'm in Stage 3 ½," Heather said. "Don't worry, it's a very rare stage. First time I've been here. It ain't much better than Stage 3, so don't get excited."

"Trust me, I'm not," I said. "You like me right?"

"Hey, who was just holding your hair out of the way of your puke?" Heather said with a smile.

"Well then why doesn't Jamie like me?" I asked.

"I think he does, that's why he left," Heather said.

"Well that makes sense," I said sarcastically.

"No, it's like if you love something, you'll set it free," Heather said wisely.

"I wasn't trapped, though," I replied.

"Not trapped yet. I think Jamie realized he had been here before. He didn't want to lead you down the same road and get hurt and left in Ohio," Heather said.

"I haven't done a tour in ages, " I said.

"You know what I mean," Heather said. "He loved you, but he knew he would eventually hurt you. He decided he didn't want to drag you along for another terrible ride and frankly, I agree with him."

"I thought you said we already had permanent," I said, "So I shouldn't be happy."

"I said don't be happy because someone broke up with you, Cathy," my friend said. "But you can be…relieved. Just think of it as a burden off your shoulders."

"What happened to being 'brutal honest' in Stage 2?" I asked Heather.

"There's a time to be brutal," Heather said after a moment of thought, "and maybe there's a time to be gentle."

"Can I have a hug while you're being gentle?" I asked.

"Of course," Heather said and gave me a big hug and held me for a long time.

_(Thanks for the reviews! This one is longer, like I promised. What stage is Jamie in? Please review!) _


	18. The Next Generation

_Amy had fallen asleep and I sat on my cot and watched her sleep. She was a perfect little angel. She didn't know anything about harming people or anything bad. Babies didn't know any of that stuff yet. Why did they have to know? What is so wrong with our world that such innocence that a baby has is ruined and gets replaced by hatred, prejudice and racism? I'm not saying all babies will be racist when they grow up, but they will grow up in a world where it exists. Isn't that bad enough? _

_I watch my child sleep and my wife comes in. "Darling, isn't she?" she says. "It gives you hope for the world. Maybe this generation will be better." As I kiss my wife gently I know that my daughter's generation, the next generation, will be better. It has to get better. Nothing could be worse than this._

I read over what I had written and for the first time in a long time I was happy. I felt good with what I had written. I looked around Central Park where I was sitting. I watched a homeless guy sit on the ground with a can in front of him. People passed by without even looking at him. Meanwhile, a little girl, about five or six years old, was getting five dollars from her father to spend on whatever she wanted.

_Nothing is worse than what we have now. We have a tyranny. Not just of one country, but the whole world. David Hendbound. It sounds like a normal name, not like the vicious, brutal tyrant who is the reason we are now in World War Four. His father, George Hendbound was the reason for World War Three. George Hendbound decided to take over the world after being laid off from his seventh job in a span of two years. The economy was so terrible in the entire world, due to inflation of Liteens (the currency of all countries). When the first Hendbound came around and got control of all the small countries, he became known and powerful. With his new power, Hendbound was able to take over the world. He began okay, but after his wife died in childbirth with his second son, he turned evil. He told his sons stories of how they would rule the world forever. After the revolt came and restored democracy in 2025, David Hendbound at age 12 was put in an orphanage. No foster family would take him. People believe that's when his evil started._

_David decided to bring back the world in which he grew up. He wanted to be in charge. He wanted to bring back his world, his father's world. David did what his father did, gaining the power of the smaller countries. David was smart though. He knew if he did this publicly, he would not succeed. He was able to get control secretly. Now, in 2047, we are in the middle of World War Four. Two Hendbounds, two wars, too much gore._

I looked at what I had written again. I didn't know how to end it. The last sentence didn't seem like enough of a grabber. I looked up again. The same little girl was there, looking up at an ice cream stand. She looked to her right and saw the homeless man. She stood for a moment, and then walked over to the homeless man and held out the five dollars to him. "You look hungry," the little girl said. "I'm not hungry so you can have it if you want." The homeless man looked at the girl and smiled.

"Thank you, I am very hungry," the man said and accepted the five dollars. The girl's father came over and hurried the little girl along, scolding her for wasting the money. Suddenly, I had an ending.

_Usually the next generation is better than the one that came before it, no matter what your grandparents tell you. This generation seemed to be an exception. One step forward, two steps back. Welcome to the apocalypse, only you can stop it. _

_**(Thanks for the reviews! Sorry it's been so long! Writing this chapter was really hard for me, and it isn't even that long! I'll update soon! What will happen in Jamie's new book? What will happen in Cathy's new life? Please Review!)** _


	19. Back Where We Ended

"Thanks for staying overnight, Heather. I really needed to wallow and everything," I said to my friend as she left the next morning.

"No problem, I know you would do the same thing for me," Heather said. "Just promise me one thing."

"What?" I asked.

"Work on your stages!" Heather said.

"Shouldn't I just let it run its natural course, like a bad cold or virus?" I asked. It seemed to make sense to me that way.

"How do you expect to get over Jamie if you don't work on it?" Heather asked. "I've got to run. I have a job interview today. There's this new restaurant a block away from my apartment. How convenient would that be?"

"You mean you're not going to the open-call at the Schubert?" I ask Heather, who always goes to open-calls.

"I'd rather have an interview for something a little more stable. Besides, the cook looks cute," Heather said with a wink. She put on her coat and left. I looked at my watch. 8:00 AM. The open-called started at 1:00 PM, so I better start getting ready. I pulled on some jogging clothes. If I couldn't get to the gym, at least I could jog around my block a little. I got my CD player and went out the door. I went down the stairs and started jogging around my block listening to a Sondheim mix CD I made. _High in a tower, like yours was but higher, a beauty asleep… _I jogged around the corner and saw Jamie, sitting on the sidewalk, typing on his laptop. _Agony! No frustration, more keen. When the one thing you want is the only thing out of your reach. _I started to back up. _'How do you expect to get over Jamie if you don't work on it?_' I heard Heather's voice in my head. I took a deep breath and continued to jog down the street. I jogged past Jamie. He didn't even look up. I continued to jog, tears forming in my eyes. He didn't look up. I didn't look down at him when I passed, but he didn't look up. Why didn't he look up?

When I got back to the lobby, Jamie was sitting in there, still typing away. I walked by without looking at him again. "Cathy!" I heard someone yell. Relief ran over my body. I turned around and it was my neighbor, Mrs. Karper. "Cathy, this was stuck under my door, but it has your name on it. I think it was meant for you. Do we have a secret admirer?" my nosy neighbor asked me.

"Oh, I bet it's the article I told my friend to cut out for me. Thank you so much, Mrs. Karper. I don't know why my friend put it under your door," I said, taking the note. I avoided pronouns, not wanting to give away a gender either way in my white lie. It would only get all the neighbors talking.

"It looks like Jamie's handwriting, Cathy," Mrs. Karper said, still sticking her nose where it didn't belong.

"Yes, my friend and Jamie do have similar handwriting," I said, looking at the note, noticing it was indeed Jamie's handwriting. "I'm going upstairs now. Good-bye, Mrs. Karper." I turned my head and smiled a tight, but polite smile and then walked away. As I was climbing up the stairs, I heard someone following me. I was sure it was Mrs. Karper, so I started running up the stairs to avoid her. I got to my apartment, fumbling for my keys when I could tell she caught up with me, but she smelled much worse than her usual over-done perfume.

"Cathy, we need to talk," I heard the person behind me say, and it definitely was not Mrs. Karper. I shoved my keys in the lock and opened the door. I went in without answering. "Cathy, you can't ignore me." I walked in my apartment leaving the door open, knowing he would follow me. I turned and faced him.

"What do you need to talk about, Jamie?" I asked. "Since, if you need to talk, we talk. If I need to talk or have you talk, why should that matter? But if you need to talk, Jamie, by all means, talk!"

"I saw where we were going, and I didn't like it. We were heading here," Jamie said. "I don't want to be back here."

"How do you know we would have ended up here?" I asked. "Why couldn't you at least give it a try?"

"If you don't succeed the first time, try, try again?" Jamie asked. "Are we going to keep trying until we succeed? What if we don't? Why do you want to keep doing this dance? Why do we have to keep doing this dance for you?"

"God, don't stay here for me! You didn't yesterday!" I said.

"No, I left for you instead! I didn't want to bring you here! I knew we would be here. I didn't want to try and fail again," Jamie said. "Why do you?"

"What are you saying, Jamie?" I asked. "Were you going to cheat on me again?" Jamie didn't answer me. We just stood there for a while. Jamie turned just as Mrs. Karper started to walk in.

"I couldn't help but overhearing…" Mrs. Karper began to say.

"Good-bye, Mrs. Karper," Jamie said.

"Jamie, it isn't polite to interrupt…" Mrs. Karper began again.

"I said good-bye, Mrs. Karper. Now is not a good time," Jamie said forcefully. Mrs. Karper gave Jamie her infamous "well-then" look turned on her heel and left. Jamie turned back to me.

"Now is not a good time for you, either," I said. "Good-bye Jamie." Jamie nodded and turned around. "You can take your stupid note, too. Whatever it says, I don't want to know." I put the note on the counter. Jamie looked at it.

"It's my newest novel, or the beginning of it anyway. I want you to know," Jamie said and left without his note. I picked it up and looked at it for a while. I heard a knock on the door. I walked over and opened it to find Mrs. Karper.

"I knew it was from Jamie," Mrs. Karper said. "Are you going to open it?"

"Whether or not I do is none of your business," I said and then pointed at her apartment. "That is your apartment. Please stay in there and not over here." I closed the door. I walked over to my couch. I sat down and looked at the note for a long time. It was 10:00 AM. I could take fifteen minutes to read it. I opened the note.

_Amy had fallen asleep and I sat on my cot and watched her sleep…_

_**(Thanks for the reviews! I told you I would update soon! What will Cathy think of Jamie's new novel? What do you think of my new character? Please Review!)**_


	20. When in Doubt, Go To Your Editor

_David Hendbound imprisoned and tortured anybody who got in his way until they did it his way. Unless you were doing it his way, you had to stay in hiding to stay out of jail. That's where I was now with my wife and child. We had two rooms. The bigger room two cots on it and a blanket. One cot for my wife and I and the blanket served as a cradle for our one year old daughter. The room also had a kitchen, or what could be called a kitchen. We had a portable mini stove. The smaller room was our bathroom. One side was the toilet and the other had a barrel in which we bathed. This is my home and has been for the past two months. We have friends who pretend to be on the other side and give us food. _

_Sometimes, as I get my new food, I feel very World War Two. Sometimes, I feel like breaking out and actually seeing the sun again and feeling its rays on my skin. I feel like going up to David Hendbound and telling him how many people are in misery for his happiness. Sometimes I pity Hendbound. He had no meaning in his life besides this crusade of his. He will eventually be overthrown like his father, and then what will his life be? Assuming that the rebels don't kill him on the spot but keep him in jail or something, what will his life be to him then? Will he consider everything a waste and regret all he had done to harm people? Or will he not regret a thing and try to take over again and again?_

I stopped writing at this sentence. _Again and again._ Cathy wanted to try again and again because she had faith in us. I had no faith whatsoever. Why bother? Why try for something that was obviously doomed? Why was my character Hendbound so much like Cathy? Why was I basing my evil character on Cathy? She is anything by evil, she is…hopeful.

_Perhaps David Hendbound isn't evil, just hopeful. He hopes that by doing what he is doing he will achieve happiness. He is risking everything, literally everything, to get even an ounce of happiness. Maybe that's just me being a good person and trying to find the good in everyone. Hendbound seems to find happiness and joy in the torturing of other people. There is no good in that man._

But Cathy is good. I know she is. Suddenly I was stuck. I couldn't write anymore. I decided to go to Jake's apartment. Whenever I was stuck, my editor could help. Besides, I was in dire need of a shower.

I walked over to Jake's apartment and showed him what I had. Jake read it over while I showered. When I came out Jake said, "This is fucking awesome."

"Thanks, Jake," I said.

"No, seriously, Jamie, this is good shit," Jake said.

"But still shit, yeah, I get it," I said. "I knew it wasn't that great."

"Man, good shit is good! You should know that by now, Jamie," Jake said. "This says best-seller all over it! This is your comeback series!"

"Whoa, series? Jake you know how I feel about series," I said. "I won't do them. I get bored with the characters too easily and then they lose their personality. It would just be money lost, not gained."

"Jamie, as your editor, I demand you to turn this into a series!" Jake said.

"You can't do that, Jake," I said.

"I can't?" Jake asked.

"No, you can't. You can only edit what I write. If I don't write a series, then you can't edit it," I said. "Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah all right already," Jake said. "Hey, where's the little bundle of joy I always curse in front of?"

"If you mean my daughter Lisa," I said, "she's with her mother."

"Why is she with that bitch?" Jake asked.

"Because that bitch gave birth to her?" I said.

"Oh, sure, use logic," Jake said. "Way to mess with my head, man! You know math isn't my best subject."

"I'm not even going to try to argue with that," I responded. "Look, Jake, can I hang here for a while?"

"Homeless?" Jake asked.

"For the moment, yes," I said.

"What happened to what-her-face with the nice ass?" Jake asked.

"Cathy?" I asked. "We broke up."

"Oh, so it's not that your homeless," Jake joked, "You're girlfriend-less."

"Can I stay here for a while?" I asked again.

"Sure, I've mooched off of you enough," Jake said. "You can have the couch."

"Thanks," I said. "I'm just going to sit and write for a while, okay?"

"Sure, Jamie, sure," Jake said. "I've got to get some food in here now that I've got a guest. You sit and write." I nodded and began writing again.

"_Honey?" my wife Tina said._

"_Yes?" I replied._

"_I've been thinking. I mean, I want Amy to grow up and have a good life," Tina said, "I just don't think I can give her a good life if we're in hiding."_

"_Are you saying to want to follow the brutal orders of Hendbound?" I asked._

"_I'm saying that coming out saying we've seen the light and if we pretend to do all that and Amy get have friends," Tina said. "She could go to a school, a good school. I want something better than this for my baby."_

"_I don't want Amy to think she has to change who she is to be accepted," I said. "You were a teacher. We'll be teaching her not only math and English, but how to stand up for her opinions."_

"_I hardly think when she's 5 years old and lonely she'll think, 'At least I'm standing up for my opinions. Here's a plus, I get to sleep on a blanket.' How hard will it be to pretend?" Tina asked. "We'll still be for the right cause. We'll bring food to other people. I just don't want to be the other people."_

"_You don't want to be a charity case, is that it?" I asked. "All this talk about you want a better life for Amy. Bull, Tina, that's bull. You always hated people doing things for you. You want to be independent and I love you for it. But you have to realize that in this situation we need other people's help."_

"_Not if we were out there! We could be free again! Free! No more hiding or taking a bath once a week, if we're lucky. Free, honey, free!" my wife said with such a fire of passion I had never seen before. It was amazing how energized someone could get about something so impossible. _

Impossible. Never can happen. It won't work. Unattainable. Unfeasible. Cathy.

**_(Thanks for the continuous reviews! Is this book Jamie's way of wallowing? What does Cathy think of the book, or as much as she has? Please Review!)_**


	21. Nevermind

_Usually the next generation is better than the one that came before it, no matter what your grandparents tell you. This generation seemed to be an exception. One step forward, two steps back. Welcome to the apocalypse, only you can stop it. _

Whoa. I mean, Jamie's writing had always been great, but it has never been this good. It was amazingly deep. He truly spent time on this and thought bout it rather than just writing. It obviously took a lot of time. Surely it took more three full days, at least.

But why did he give it to me? He always joked I was his best critic, but still. We had only just broken up. How could he just come back and give me this without considering how I would react? Without thinking, I just went over to my computer and went online to send him a nasty e-mail.

**Subject: Your Book**

**Hey Jamie, it's me. I just finished reading your new book (what's the title?) and I thought it was amazing. How long have you been working on this? I thought it must have taken three full days, if not more. Is there anymore? I would love to read it.**

What else could I say? I had no idea. How could I hide my anger and sadness with this sickly sweet e-mail? I couldn't tell him how much I hurt in the same e-mail that tells him how great his new novel is. Still, it was like he just threw aside my feeling, or he just forgot them.

_You were once something from a dream._

_I never thought this was what love could mean._

_Somehow, you just don't seem to see_

_That all this empty space is killing me_

**I just don't understand, Jamie, why you gave it to me. Is it because, 'I'm your best critic'? Well, when you dump your 'best critic' you kind of lose them, too. So if that's why you gave it to me, just to tell you how good it was, then forget it. I don't want anymore of it. I'd rather wait like everyone else and see your face all of NYC on billboards claiming you're the best again. I've gotten used to that. But what you did? I should never have to get used to that because YOU WILL NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN.**

_Never mind that I still love you madly._

_Never mind that you just broke me heart._

_So unkind were you to ever love me._

_But never mind I'll be just fine._

_Lying here, feeling I could die._

_Wanting nothing else but to why?_

_All I see is memories of us_

_Silly me, to think that you could never get enough._

_So never mind that I still love you madly._

_Never mind that you just broke me heart._

_So unkind were you to ever love me._

_But never mind I'll be just fine_

_Without you holding me close all night_

_You promised I'd be all right._

_But never mind that I still love you madly._

_Never mind that you just broke me heart._

_So unkind were you to up and leave me._

_But never mind I'll be just fine._

_I'll be fine, never mind_

_You said, you'd always be mine_

_But never mind._

I read over what I had written. I was shocked and all the feeling I had just poured onto my screen. I read it over and realizing that was the girl I had become. I moved my cursor over to the DELETE button. I heard a loud crash coming from next door that scared me. My hand moved and I clicked on the SEND button. When I turned back to my screen, I saw 'Your message has been sent.' "What?" I said. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no! Come back! Don't send! Delete! Delete, delete, delete!" Now Jamie was going to see what I wrote. He'll see it and, oh dear, why does my life suck so much? I looked at my clock. It was 10:40 already! I needed to get ready for my open-call! I rushed into my shower hoping the water would rinse away my feelings towards Jamie as well as my sweat. If only it were that easy.

_(Thanks for your reviews! Sorry it took a while, but it was hell week for my show, so I had no time to write. The song in italics is "**Nevermind**" by Meredith Patterson on her first CD called, "**Nobody's Perfect**." What will Jamie think of Cathy's accidental hate mail? Please Review!) _


	22. The Dream

**I've gotten used to that. But what you did? I should never have to get used to that because YOU WILL NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN. **

Wow. I never in my life expected this kind of a response from Cathy. She never sent a nasty e-mail. I mean, she's always wanted to send one to Mrs. Karper, but since the nosy neighbor doesn't have a computer, she never did. I never expected to be the first. She is right, though. What I did was horribly self-centered. She shouldn't have to get used to that…

_Impossible. People loved to believe in impossible things. When I was younger, I believed that my action figures were real and they were my best friends. After my older brother crushed them, he crushed my dreaming too. Why believe in impossible things? It's pointless, it's impossible! And yet people are mesmerized on impossible things. Is it the excitement of dreaming up a perfect situation? Is it the joy you know it could bring to many people? Or is it the selfishness that we get for thinking, even for only a brief bit of time, that we are getting everything we want. _

_David Hendbound wanted the most impossible thing: he wanted the world, the entire world to follow him. He knew if they followed him, they would on some level love him, if not at least appreciate him. After all, that's all he wants, or any of us want. To be loved and appreciated. He wants the dream. _

"Jamie-boy!" Jake yelled at me. "Lunch time."

"What, did you make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?" I asked as I saved my new writing and walked to the kitchen.

"No, we're going out," Jake said. "To meet with Nora Green, a journalist for The New York Times."

"Pray tell, dear editor, why are we going to meet Nora Green?" I asked as I put on my jacket.

"Well, for your new book!" Jake said.

"Isn't that my publisher's job?" I asked as I was pushed out of the apartment.

"Your publisher is a bastard," Jake said.

"First of all, Ed is not a bastard," I said, knowing about the big fight Jake and Ed were probably in, "And second of all, please you better language at lunch. Ed always does."

"I repeat, your publisher is a bastard," Jake said as we got into the elevator.

"Look, I don't understand why I have to have lunch with some bookwormy journalist from the New York Times that my editor set up for a book I've barely started," I said. "And another thing, how did you get a lunch interview so quickly? I only showed you the book last night."

"That it the magic, my dear friend," Jake said. "While you were out, Nora Green called me and asked me if the astounding Jamie was writing anything new."

"What did you say?" I asked as we walk out of the building and turn the corner.

"I told her your extremely new book is fucking amazing, that's what I told her!" Jake said. "So she set up a lunch date. Although, she may have heard your single, and it's not interview part of the lunch date she's looking forward to, eh Jamie?"

"Yeah, sure," I said. "I can already picture this Nora Green. She's a nervous just-got-a-real-job young girl who will stumble over her over-analyzed questions, quote me incorrectly..."

"And she happens to be standing right behind you," a woman's voice said from behind me. I turned around and saw this beautifully slim woman in her early 30's with long raven black hair. "Hello Jamie, I'm Nora Green. I've been working at The New York Times for about three years now, I don't ask over-analyzed questions and I haven't stumbled over a question I was asking in an interview since high school. Anything else you would want to know?"

"Yes, will you quote me on what you overheard?" I asked.

"Since the interview hasn't officially started, I won't count it," Nora said while flipping her hair over her shoulder in an oh, so sexy way. "But even if I did, you would not have misquoted you. I never misquote."

"Good to hear," I said as we walked into Cosi and began our interview. Jake was nowhere to be seen and I was extremely grateful for that. We sat down and immediately she took out her little tape recorder and notebook.

"I heard your writing a new book. Does it have a title yet?" Nora asked.

"Not a permanent title, no. I was thinking of calling it 'The Apocalypse,' but I'm still not sure," I said.

" 'The Apocalypse?' That's an interesting title. Why are you thinking of that?" Nora asked.

"Well, it takes place in World War 4…" I began.

"World War 4?" Nora said as she raised an eyebrow.

"Is there a dispute here?" I asked as I leaned in.

"I just hadn't realized World War 3 had already happened," Nora said as she leaned into me. "Did I miss it?"

"Don't worry, I explain it in the book," I said sitting back comfortably in my seat.

"Could you explain it to me now?" Nora asked.

"Yes, but then you would already know and therefore have no need to buy the book," I said, "and I can't have that happen."

"Fair enough, I suppose," Nora said sitting back in her seat. "Single?"

"The main character or myself?" I asked in a dangerously flirtatious way.

"Both," Nora said after a moment.

"The main character is married," I said. "I just got out of a relationship."

"Was it painful?" Nora asked.

I leaned over and turned off her tape recorder. "Are we talking about my personal life or my new book?" I asked.

"I don't see why we can't do both," Nora said.

"Do you just want to learn more about me because you find me attractive?" I asked.

"It's a possibility, isn't it?" Nora said flirting. "Do you find me attractive?"

"You didn't answer my question," I said.

"I'm interviewing you. I ask questions and you answer them," Nora said. "Do you find me attractive?"

"If I do?" I asked.

"Again, you're getting mixed up," she said. "I ask the questions, not you."

"Yes, I find you attractive," I said. "Very much so."

"I find you attractive as well," Nora said. "Now that we gotten that out of the way, why don't we continue the interview?"

"Fine with me," I said as I turned her tape recorder back on.

"Your most recent books haven't done extremely well, do you think this book will?" Nora asked, getting back to business. I waited a moment and thought. My past books have been when I was with either Cathy or Elise. Now I'm not with either, and might even end up with Nora.

"Definitely," I said.

_(Thanks for your reviews! Has Jamie really gotten over Cathy that quickly? What will Cathy feel like if Jamie has moved on already? Please Review!)_


	23. Drama in the Park

"Cathy?" I heard a voice call from behind me as I walked through Central Park after my dreadful audition at the open call. Let's just say the director doesn't usually have his coffee spilt on him when someone goes to shake his hand. I turned and saw someone who looked familiar, but I couldn't place a name.

"Yes?" I said cautiously.

"It's me, Ethan. We had a relationship, god, must have been about 7 or 8 years ago. We went out for a little under a year, don't you remember?" Ethan said and suddenly I knew who it was. This was the guy who left me for "his work" right before I met Jamie.

"Now I remember you Ethan, hi. What's been going on with you recently?" I asked him. "How's your work?"

"I guess I deserve that," Ethan said chuckling. "How about we catch up over a cup of coffee?"

"Oh, I can't really," I heard myself saying to Ethan.

"I get it, you're in a relationship…" Ethan said

"No, I'm not, I just- I actually just got out of a really long relationship…" I said trailing off.

"Longer than ours was?" Ethan asked.

"About 6 or 7 years longer," I said, thinking about what a fool I sounded like.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Ethan said.

"I mean, it wasn't straight through, actually. It was off and on- mostly on- for about 6 or 7 years," I explained.

"Wait, is this Jamie something?" Ethan said trying to think.

"Yes, how do you know?" I asked.

"I picked up one of his books a few years back and it was dedicated to his wife-you- and I noticed. Did you get divorced?" he asked.

"If you really want the whole story, we should sit down." I said jokingly.

"Coffee?" Ethan offered.

"Coffee," I said. Ethan put out his arm for me. I chuckled and took it. We went to a little coffee shop and I explained to him the divorce, and the getting back together, and breaking up, and getting back together, and breaking up again. It was so good to talk about it. Ethan laughed in all the right places and felt sad at the right places, too. "Now that you know all of my drama, what's been going on romantically for you?" I asked Ethan curiously.

"I haven't had that many stable relationships lately. I had a three- month relationship a year ago, but she got a new job and had to move away. Since then, nothing really," Ethan said. "I'm not afraid of the commitment. If anything, that's what I want, a committed relationship. I just haven't met the right person yet."

"I understand," I said. "I guess neither of us have had a good relationship in a while, have we?"

"Guess not," Ethan said chuckling. Then he looked meaningfully in my eyes. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Are you asking me out for a Wednesday night?" I asked incredulously.

"My friends Finn and Colin are in an acapella group called Pure Sounds that's playing a little concert near Central Park. Do you want to go?" Ethan asked.

"I don't know, Ethan, wouldn't it be awkward?" I asked.

"Going as friends?" Ethan asked.

"Sure, as friends," I said. "I would love to go."

"Great, I'll pick you up at 7:30?" Ethan asked.

"Sounds perfect," I said smiling. "What time is it?"

"Now? It is 2:00 PM," Ethan said. "Why, do you have to be somewhere?" he looked so worried that I might leave him, it was almost funny.

"No," I said, "In fact, I could stay here talking to you forever." Ethan smiled in relief. So, I felt relieved, too. This was a good guy, a truly good guy. My knight in shining armor? Probably not, but that's overrated.

"It's getting kind of crowded in here," Ethan said, looking at the long line of people at the counter. "We should probably go. Want to go to my place?" Ethan suddenly blushed deeply. "I'm sorry, that probably sounded really too…forward. I mean, I don't mean it like that at all, I really don't. I'm sorry."

"Ethan, it's okay. I'm not in tenth grade or anything. I can tell when a guy wants me to go to his place to talk or to do other things. Don't worry," I said. Ethan smiled and we walked out of the crowded little coffee shop.

"We have to walk across the park to get to my place, do you mind?" Ethan asked.

"Of course not," I said. "It's a beautiful day." Ethan and I walked around the park and gossiped about old classmates. It was the best day I had since Jamie left me, mostly because I wasn't thinking about Jamie. Not until Ethan and I turned a corner and literally bumped into Jamie with a gorgeous woman with a notepad.

"Cathy, hi," Jamie said.

"Hi Jamie," I said. "Uh, you remember Ethan, don't you?"

"Yeah, the workaholic, right?" Jamie said, referring to the nickname I gave Ethan after we broke up.

"Post break-up nickname, sorry," I told Ethan.

"It's okay," Ethan said.

"And you are…?" I asked the woman, since Jamie obviously wasn't going to introduce her.

"I'm Nora, I'm interviewing Jamie for the New York Times," Nora said.

"And you decided to take a scenic tour in the park?" I asked a little too harshly.

"Yes, to see the tree under which Jamie slept after he broke up with you to stop you from getting hurt again," Nora said.

"Since when you break-up with someone, it never hurts," I said.

"Did you just happen to bump into Ethan, then?" Jamie asked.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You seem to be implying that Nora is doing more than interviewing me, and yet you just happen to be walking around with your ex-boyfriend?" Jamie said. "And you're the one who gets to be hurt?"

"Yes, actually, Ethan recognized me and we started talking. Today. If you remember correctly, I was the faithful one in our relationship," I said.

"Great only, what, five minutes into a conversation and you bring that up. Usually it only takes you five seconds to bring up the one mistake I made," Jamie said.

"Yeah, you made it over and over again for how long was it? Six months?" I said.

"You just can't get over the fact that- that…" Jamie said trailing off.

"That you cheated on me for 6 months, got back together with me, and then left me again for the same person?" I asked. "Yeah, I think I get to be a little bitter about this, Jamie. Nora, are you getting all this? It would be great for your 'article,' won't it?"

"I wasn't going to use it, but now I just might," Nora said.

"Gee, I wonder who you'll make look like the bad guy in this little 'article' of yours?" I said angrily.

"Cathy, why don't we just go?" Ethan said.

"Yeah, listen to your new boyfriend," Jamie said.

"We are not in a relationship," I said. "Though, I don't even want to know what kind of a 'relationship' you have with Nora."

"Cathy, cool down and think for a second," Jamie said. "Any relationship Nora and I have is only in your head! We only met today."

"Are you saying you don't find her attractive?" I asked, setting him up.

"No! I mean, yes, of course I do," Jamie said, "But that doesn't mean we're having sex."

"Excuse me?" Nora said.

"What, are we having sex and I wasn't aware of it?" Jamie asked Nora.

"No, it's just that in Cosi, you told me that you found my highly attractive, yet now you're gut reaction was to say no?" Nora said.

"Cathy, really, why don't we go?" Ethan asked, obviously uncomfortable.

"Not yet," I said.

"Fine, you stay, Cathy, but I'm leaving," Ethan said.

"What? Why?" I asked in shock.

"It's obviously too soon for you to be with someone else, and let's be honest, we both wanted this to go somewhere else. You still have feeling for Jamie, so there's no need for me here," Ethan said and he walked away.

"It's not that it was my gut reaction exactly…" Jamie said to Nora as I was having my conversation with Ethan.

"Except it was! It was the first thing out of your mouth. Listen, I'll do the article and I'll leave all of this out, but I've got to go now. You still have feelings for Cathy, and as attractive as I find you, I should leave before you hurt me as much as it seems you hurt Cathy," Nora said.

"No, wait!" Jamie and I yelled, me at Ethan and him at Nora. Neither of our potential partners stopped. We sat down on a bench and just sat there a while without saying anything.

"I'm sorry I got so suspicious when I saw you with Nora, even though we're not a couple anymore. I guess I'm not completely comfortable seeing you with other woman yet," I said, "But that isn't really an excuse for how I acted. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I acted like a jerk, too," Jamie said. "And I guess I pretty much ruined your chances with Ethan, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I ruined yours for Nora," I pointed out.

"Yeah," Jamie said. "Well, maybe I'll call her later and explain it to her."

"How are you going to explain it?" I asked.

"I don't know, something like, 'I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier today. I have some issues that I still have to work out, but I would love it if you were with me while I work them out.' I need to re-word it, but something like that," Jamie said.

"You really like her, don't you?" I asked Jamie without looking at him.

"As much as someone can for only meeting her today," Jamie responded. "Do you really like Ethan?"

"I don't know. I mean, I like him, but he's not my knight in shining armor," I said, "I mean, I don't need that now, though. I don't think I need that at all, actually. There is no perfect partner, is there?"

"Did you ever want a knight in shining armor?" Jamie asked.

"Well, sure, before…" I said, almost saying 'before the divorce,' but I stopped myself. "Well, before things got…complicated."

"Yeah, complicated," Jamie said. We sat for a while longer. "I'm not knight in shining armor," Jamie said, "But if you ever want to just talk, I'm here for you, Cathy."

"Thanks, and the same goes for you," I told Jamie. Jamie and I smiled, and I knew on some level I would always love Jamie. I just couldn't be with him, but I would always love him and care for him. "Well, I better get going. I mean, I have errands, and…" I said trailing off.

"What are you doing on Friday night?" Jamie asked me.

"No, Jamie. Let's not go down there again," I said. There was silence and there was nothing left to say. I got up and left. I would always love Jamie, but he could not pull me back in again.

_(Thanks for your reviews! So much drama, what can happen next? Will Nora go out with Jamie? Will Ethan go out with Cathy? Please Review!)_


	24. Ah, Marriage

"Honey, I know you want to go out on Friday, but I simply can't," I told Ethan as I walked around the kitchen.

"Why not, Cathy? It seems like ages since we've gone out," Ethan said. "Listen, I get back from Denver Friday afternoon around three. I shower and you make yourself even more beautiful than you already are and we go out for a romantic evening."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked.

"What?" Ethan asked obliviously.

"Honey, there's no way we can get a responsible baby-sitter in time for tomorrow night," I told my husband, "Besides, last time we went out for a 'romantic evening' I got pregnant with Morgan."

"My parents can look after him," Ethan said.

"We asked them to look after him on Sunday when you were out of town and I needed to go to my book group," I reminded Ethan, "And while I know you're parents would love to take care of their grandson, it's such a schlep from Rye to Pelham."

"Please, Cathy, I just want a nice dinner out with my stunning wife," Ethan said.

"Ethan, I would love to go out, but we need someone to take care of Morgan," I said, "so unless you can find us our own personal Mary Poppins in time and get the reservations, we're not going out."

"I'll work something out, don't worry," Ethan said. "I love you."

"I love you, too, bye," I said and hung up the phone. I checked the time. 4:30 P.M. I had another half-hour about until Morgan's nap would be over. Dinner would just be salad for me (already made) and his dinner was easy enough, seeing as he was only five months old. I went to the couch and picked up my book that I was supposed to be reading for book group. I had never even heard of it before Kim mentioned it at our last meeting. It was called The Cycle Keeps Going. Knowing Kim, it was probably trash, but she hadn't picked a book in a while, so we decided to try it.

I opened the book and started reading. _There was no alternative. This was our only option left. For a pacifist like me, I never understood how people could go to war, claiming it was for peace. In our situation, that was simply what we were doing. Against a tyrant like Hendbound, what can you do? _

I immediately stopped reading. How could I have missed the author's name? I checked the cover, and without a doubt, there were Jamie's initials. This had to be his book. It had been over two years since I had even read any of his writing, but I recognized the villain's name- Hendbound. How could I agree to read my ex-husband's book for book group? I sat back and thought of the last time I saw Jamie. I was unpacking my apartment, excited that Ethan had just proposed. I was putting a box in a taxi and gave Ethan a kiss. I turned around and saw Jamie walking down the street. It was obvious he had seen me kiss Ethan. I turned around and packed another box into the taxi. When I looked back, he was gone. He wasn't across the street or further down the street or anywhere else to be seen. I decided to forget about it and keep packing. I went down for another box when Ethan pulled me into a hug and gave me a long kiss. I looked up to him a smiled. Although I never saw Jamie again, I had an odd feeling that Jamie saw it.

I put my book down and picked up the phone. I started to dial Annabelle, the leader of the book group, to tell her we couldn't read the book. Then I felt like an idiot. So what if Jamie wrote it? It doesn't mean I can't read it. I mean, Jamie is an author, and I am a reader. That would be the only existing relationship. Then why did I feel like I was committing adultery as I read further into his book? At 4:50, the phone rang. "Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Cathy?" a frantic voice asked me.

"Yes, who is calling?" I asked cautiously.

"Look, I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but you said if I ever needed someone to call, I could call you and…" Jamie said quickly.

"Jamie?" I asked.

"Yeah…hi," Jamie said.

"Why are you talking to quickly?" I asked. "Are you driving?"

"Yes, but that is besides the point. Listen, I need to talk to you," Jamie said.

"Me specifically?" I asked.

"Well, remember that day in Central Park when you said if I ever need to talk to someone, I could call you?" Jamie asked. I did, but for a different reason. That night Ethan and I went out for dinner and started our relationship together.

"Yes, I do," I said. "And you need to talk?"

"Desperately, and you are the only one who will understand," Jamie said.

"I am? I haven't seen or talked to you in two years, and I'm the only one who will understand?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," Jamie said.

"Jamie, where are you?" I asked.

"I'm on the Sprain," Jamie said.

"Are you supposed to be on the Sprain?" I asked Jamie like I was asking a child.

"No, I'm supposed to be at St. John's Church of Manhattan," Jamie said.

"On a Thursday? Why?" I asked.

"For a wedding," Jamie said.

"Oh really, whose?" I asked curiously.

"Mine." Jamie said.

_(Thanks for the reviews! Don't you just hate me now? Don't worry, I'll update soon. Why is Jamie running from his wedding? Who is he supposed to be marrying? Please Review!)_


	25. Goodbye

"What?" I heard Cathy scream into my headset.

"Look, I know that sounds bad, but if you think about it…" I said.

"It's actually much worse?" Cathy interrupted me.

"That wasn't what I was going to say, actually. I mean, it's better that I leave now instead of in four years or something?" I said.

"Gee, you couldn't have thought about that before our wedding?" Cathy asked.

"Look, Cathy, I just really need to talk to someone about Linda," I said.

"How am I the right person to talk to about this? I don't even know Linda!" Cathy said. "Why not talk to Jake?"

"Jake?" I asked in confusion.

"Jake, your editor?" Cathy said, obviously not hearing about the big fight.

"Yeah, uh, Jake and I had a, err, falling out. He's not my editor anymore. Kevin is, and he is amazing," I said.

"Well then talk to Kevin, but not to me, I really don't have time and, oh great!" Cathy said. I heard wailing in the background. "No, no, no, it's okay. Shush, shush, shush."

"What is that noise?" I asked.

"That 'noise' is my five-month old baby Morgan," Cathy told me.

"You have a child?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, you think I would be married for this long and not have a baby at my age?" Cathy said as if it were obvious that a) she had a child and b) she was married. I knew neither of these facts.

"You're married? To whom?" I asked.

"Ethan, why?" Cathy asked.

"You married Ethan?" I asked.

"Do you have a hearing problem?" Cathy asked annoyed.

"No, it's just that, I- I didn't know that." I said lamely.

"Well, when you don't see someone for two or three years, it kind of makes sense," Cathy said. "What doesn't make sense is when you call them out of the blue to talk to them as you run away from your wedding. I mean, we didn't even exchange holiday cards, Jamie."

"I'm not in love with Linda," I explained. "I thought I was, but driving over to the church, I thought about our future and it didn't look good."

"Jamie, did you think about our future as you drove to our wedding?" Cathy asked me.

"Yes, I did," I said.

"Was it filled with happiness and joy?" Cathy asked.

"Yeah, I saw us together forever, and…" I said trailing off, just getting her point.

"Maybe you shouldn't worry about the future, maybe you should think about the present and how Linda is at the church waiting for you because she obviously cares for you," Cathy said wisely. "So go get married."

"Thanks Cathy," I said.

"Sure, Jamie," Cathy said. "I've got to go though, it's time for Morgan's dinner."

"Sure, uh, but Cathy?" I said.

"Yeah?" Cathy said.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked curiously.

"Of course," Cathy responded.

"Why did you marry Ethan?" I asked.

"Because he loves me and he would make me happy," Cathy responded without hesitation.

"Do you love him?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Cathy asked.

"Well, you said you married him because he loves you, but do you love him?" I asked my ex-wife.

"He's not my knight in shining armor," Cathy said, "And if you told me ten years ago I would marry a pharmacist one day, I would have called you crazy, but yes, I do love him."

"Do you love me?" I asked without thinking.

"Jamie, please, I'm married, you're about to get married…"Cathy said without ending her sentence.

"Just tell me," I said. "Do you love me?"

"I'll always love you Jamie, but it's a different kind of love," Cathy said slowly. "The love I have for you is a confusing love, losing everything else for just a little bit of joy. The love I have for Ethan is a stable love, but still exciting."

"I love you, too," Jamie said, "In the same way, I mean."

"I hope you have many years of happiness in your marriage," Cathy said.

"I hope the same for you," I told her.

"Jamie," Cathy said and together we said, "Good-bye."

Jamie married Linda and they moved to Connecticut where they lived for the rest of their lives. They had two children, Sam, and Catherine. Jamie wrote his series, The Apocalypse, and it made enough to keep the family living comfortably, and then some. **Linda and Jamie stayed married until the day they died.**

Ethan and Cathy stayed in Pelham with their three children, Morgan, Danielle and Jamie. Ethan's job at the pharmacy wasn't enough for him, so he started his own little store, which made a comfortable living for the family. Cathy was mainly a housewife, but auditioned for a show at the community theatre one day and has been performing there ever since. **Ethan and Cathy stayed married until the day they died.**

Jamie sent Cathy a holiday card that season to show his love for her. When Cathy returned a holiday card for him, he knew that she still loved him. **They exchanged holiday cards until the day they died.**

_(Thanks for your reviews! And here is where our story ends. I know most of you wanted Cathy and Jamie to end up together, but I like the way the story shows there is never a completely happy ending. Please read my new story The Apocalypse, which is the story Jamie started writing in this story. Thank you for reading this story, I loved writing it! Please Review!)_


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